Some More Assorted Ramblings....

[Roger Kettle]

Pierrots.
The following advice is one of the few absolutes in life. Any play, film or video which features someone dressed as a pierrot is a pile of pretentious twaddle. There are no exceptions.
Wimbledon.
Male tennis players serve like gorillas and then retreat to the baseline like twelve year-old girls. The only time they leave this area is to change ends every couple of games. Rod Laver would be spinning in his grave. You know, if he was dead.
Female tennis players have now decided that Wimbledon is a silly noise contest. One of them has bypassed the usual grunts and squeaks to produce a remarkable vocal emission that sounds like a submarine's sonar blip, played through AC/DC's amps.
The Weather.
It's just silly in Scotland at the moment. Twenty eight windless degrees followed by half an hour of torrential rain and a steaming aftermath. I fully expect to die, crushed by an anaconda at the bus stop.
T.V. Chefs.
I'm trying to think of one that I wouldn't punch in the mouth. I suppose I should say Nigella but no, in these days of equal opportunity, she deserves it as much as any of them. I will pour olive oil, I will use olive oil sparingly but I WILL NOT DRIZZLE IT!

[Mince]

Wimbledon.
Male tennis players serve like gorillas and then retreat to the baseline like twelve year-old girls. The only time they leave this area is to change ends every couple of games. Rod Laver would be spinning in his grave. You know, if he was dead.

Perhaps if Roger Federer took your advice, he'd have won more grand slams.

[Diane CBPFC]

broad spectrum peeves

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Pierrots... j'agree, mon ami!

Wimbledon... Next year will be different. Never hurry a Murray! If only his fellow Scot, Elena Baltacha, could emulate her father's sporting success as captain of the Ukrainian national football team, and St Johnstone, she may reach the second round next year (actually, that's grossly unfair on her, since she has once managed to reach the third round already, but then the gag wouldn't have worked...which it probably didn't anyway....I'll get me coat.....).

The weather... Ah - you make me yearn for Scotland, Roger. We have exactly the same weather here at the moment, of course, but the difference is it's falling on England.

TV Chefs... I very nearly drizzled for Nigella once, but failed. I just can't disassociate her from her father's gargoyle mugshot.

[Vulture]

Pierrots... j'agree, mon ami!

Wimbledon... Next year will be different. Never hurry a Murray!Goodness, it's years since I heard this - it takes me back to my youth, and black and white television! If only his fellow Scot, Elena Baltacha, could emulate her father's sporting success as captain of the Ukrainian national football team, and St Johnstone, she may reach the second round next year (actually, that's grossly unfair on her, since she has once managed to reach the third round already, but then the gag wouldn't have worked...which it probably didn't anyway....I'll get me coat.....).

The weather... Ah - you make me yearn for Scotland, Roger. We have exactly the same weather here at the moment, of course, but the difference is it's falling on England.

TV Chefs... I very nearly drizzled for Nigella once, but failed. I just can't disassociate her from her father's gargoyle mugshot.

[Fyodor]

T.V. Chefs.
I'm trying to think of one that I wouldn't punch in the mouth. I suppose I should say Nigella but no, in these days of equal opportunity, she deserves it as much as any of them. I will pour olive oil, I will use olive oil sparingly but I WILL NOT DRIZZLE IT!

Do tell, Rog. When was the last time you punched anyone in the mouth? Apart from your sister, that is.

[Roger Kettle]

I know the NEXT person I'm going to punch in the mouth.

[Malc]

Pierrots are TV cliches aren't they? Do you mean the street mime a la Marceau? Whenever they appear on screen I know that the writer is over sixty and gay as a tree full of parrots.

[Rob Baker]

Pierrots.
The following advice is one of the few absolutes in life. Any play, film or video which features someone dressed as a pierrot is a pile of pretentious twaddle. There are no exceptions.

No exceptions at all?

Bowie in the Ashes to Ashes video:


[Admittedly, it could be viewed as a bit pretentious].

And Arnold Ridley in the 1976 Dad's Army Christmas episode "The Love of Three Oranges":

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Ah, good old Private Godfrey - I always longed for a slice of his sister Dolly's upside-down cake. I recall a school trip to the theatre in my youth, to see a wonderful production of 'The Ghost Train'. It was only afterwards I read the programme notes to discover that not only did Arnold Ridley write it, he was a prolific playwright in his early years. What a magnificent piece of casting Dad's Army was all round.

[Diane CBPFC]

I adore Dad's Army.

[Joan]

Thanks Rob, I was about to show my ignorance and ask what a pierrot is. I love Dad's Army too. Couldn't agree more with you, Roger about the drizzle bit.  We have just got Master Chef here, which I quite enjoy watching, but the two chefs who are judges keep going on about "caramelising" stuff, when what they really mean is browning. You have to have sugar in there to caramelise something. Really annoying!

[Malc]

Ashes To Ashes has to be the most pretentious video ever made! And all serious, too. Even Duran Duran's weren't that bad.

Anyone see Not The Nine O'Clock News's parody "Nice Video Shame About The Song"?

[Roger Kettle]

It was brilliant, Malc.
I also agree with you about Bowie's video----pretentious twaddle at its finest.