Jokes

[Mince]

Let's see how good you all are at jokes.

I want a joke about all of these:

1. a blind Jesus

2. Michael Jackson as a guardian angel or invisible playmate

3. iPhones and Toilets

4. Isambard Kingdom Brunel and 2012 Olympics

5. World Cup and Halloween

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

What do you call a man with an inability to write his own jokes?

Mince

[Roger Kettle]

Gosh, that sounds fun! I'd love to spend a few hours thinking up jokes!

[Mince]

Gosh, that sounds fun! I'd love to spend a few hours thinking up jokes!

Well, maybe you ought to try it one day!

[Roger Kettle]

Oh, I don't know. Maybe. Tell you what, Mincey---let's hear YOUR ideas.

[Roger Kettle]

I hate the fact that I've bothered about this...
1) " In front of me are 7000 loaves and 500 fishes..."

[The Peepmaster]

1) Jesus: "Damn, I forgot guide dogs can't walk on water."

[Mince]

1. Roman to Jesus: "No, really, we're building a big wooden house out of huge wooden crosses. Just carry that over there - follow the sounds of the others - and then come back for the next one."

[Mince]

3. iPhones and Toilets - "And it comes complete with its very own carrying case."

[The Peepmaster]

4) Isambard Kingdom Brunel on the phone: "Hello?... 2012 Olympics Committee?... Listen, I'm very unhappy to hear that bridge-building hasn't made it into Olympic sports yet again!

[The Peepmaster]

Q. How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A. Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.


One fine day a chicken walked into a library and said BUCK (book); so the librarian gave the chicken a book. The next day the same chicken came back to the library and said BUCK BUCK, so the librarian gave the bird two books. The next day the same chicken came back to the library and said BUCK BUCK BUCK, so this time the librarian gave it three books. However the curiosity of the librarian was now aroused and so followed the chicken to see what such a bird wanted with three books. As he saw the chicken come to a stop at the edge of a pond, he saw the chicken pass all three books to a frog, who, while he was looking at them was saying, REDDIT, REDDIT, REDDIT.


Q What is the difference between a poor rifleman and a constipated owl?
A A poor rifleman shoots and can`t hit, an owl hoots but...

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Or a seagull and a baby?

A seagull flits across the shore...

[The Peepmaster]

Or a seagull and a baby?

A seagull flits across the shore...

Or a Cowboy, and a cowgirl.
(One's got a prairie-hat.)


Fanny Craddock and a long distance runner.
(One's a pant in the country.)

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

       

[robbie62]

a guardian angel says to michael jackson (a couple of years  ago ) "michael all your brothers haves wives and your sisters have husbands and even you ex wives have boyfriends ..what about you"
and michael replies"ok i'll have a scout round"