I don't know how to title this.

[Roger Kettle]

As you all know, I lost a dear family friend a couple of weeks ago. Her widower, Jim, has, understandably, being struggling to cope with her death. He's 81 and, due to a brain haemorrhage nearly 20 years ago, has memory problems and is easily confused. A couple of days ago, some guys in a van turned up at his door and asked him if he knew there was a slate loose on his roof. They explained that, if it wasn't repaired, it would lead to all sorts of problems in the future. (The roof had been done professionally by a reputable company the previous year and was in perfect condition. Jim didn't remember this). He agreed to let them fix it and they charged him £500---which he paid. I'm led to believe that these guys scan the obituaries and seek out vulnerable people. Jim is one of the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet.
Adding anything to this is pointless.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

May I add?

Bastards!

[Joan]

I'll second, third and fourth that!  Unbelievable.

[Malc]

Roger, those guys are just out of jail, they're known to the police and they'll shortly be back in jail again. It happens all the time, they get locked up, find out entertaining new ways of dudding innocent people, get out, meet some pals and try out their little scams. Three months later they're saying "hello" to their old buddies in Block C.
They are so-called "career" criminals, they always will be, and society would be better off if we locked them up for good, but unfortunately we're too nice.

[Diamond Lil]

They are so-called "career" criminals, they always will be, and society would be better off if we locked them up for good, but unfortunately we're too nice.

I don't feel too nice this morning.  Sir!  Please Sir!  Please can I be the one to offer an alternative to going back to Block C?

[Malc]

Here's an alternative. Just sit in this chair and put this cap on.

[The Peepmaster]

Here's an alternative. Just sit in this chair and put this cap on.

He might not want to be Father Christmas at the shopping mall.

Roger, it's a sad story, and I would hope that the police, and Trading Standards at the Council, were informed. It would at least raise awareness that this is happening in the community, and if it has already happened elsewhere, could help towards building a picture of the rogues.

[Roger Kettle]

The police are already involved, Nige. I'll let you all know if there's a development.

[The Peepmaster]

What are you doing here? Haven't you got a Dundee United to go and attend to?

(I see they're doing rather well.)

[Colin]

A Dundee United what?