Author Topic: My Weekend.  (Read 6263 times)

Offline Roger Kettle

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My Weekend.
« on: February 05, 2010, 06:25:32 PM »
Friday 6.10 p.m.
My wife will be arriving home shortly with three of her friends from her university days. They are staying until Sunday morning and I'm under instructions to remain here in my office until they leave. Should I bump into any of them in the house (I'm allowed to go to the bathroom and kitchen) I am only permitted to speak if spoken to. I was supposed to go away for the weekend but I pointed out that I had some work to do and that I actually paid for the house.
Friday 6.20 p.m.
They have arrived. I greeted them briefly, as instructed, with my head down and mumbled an enquiry as to their journeys from various parts of England. I was dismissed at that stage and told to light a fire.
This could be a long weekend. Watch this space.

Offline Bilthehut

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2010, 07:13:45 PM »
Do you need a Red Cross food parcel being air-dropped?

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2010, 09:03:13 PM »
Do you actually have to wear a butler's uniform?

People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2010, 09:11:04 PM »
Roger, Roger, Roger - how long have you been writing Andy Capp? All these years, and you've learned nothing.

Now, get in there and display your manhood!
I apologise, in advance.

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2010, 09:15:15 PM »
9.10 p.m.
Last contact was around 6.45. They have been in the dining room, eating lamb with something called couscous and drinking wine. Every so often, I hear banshee noises and glasses being clinked. I fear the worst.

Offline Bilthehut

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2010, 09:19:26 PM »
Roger, Roger, Roger - how long have you been writing Andy Capp? All these years, and you've learned nothing.

Now, get in there and display your manhood!

What did they think when you did this?  Impressed, amused, laughed?

Offline Bilthehut

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2010, 09:20:15 PM »
9.10 p.m.
Last contact was around 6.45. They have been in the dining room, eating lamb with something called couscous and drinking wine. Every so often, I hear banshee noises and glasses being clinked. I fear the worst.
It's when you hear 'when shall we three meet again ....' that you have to worry.

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2010, 12:53:47 PM »
Saturday 12.45 p.m.
The contestants are in the living room. A proposed trip to St. Andrews has been abandoned due to the weather and has been replaced by what I can only surmise is a shrieking contest.
I have decided to tunnel out.

Tom

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2010, 01:04:53 PM »
Roger... it could have been a bank holiday weekend... you know, a long one...!

Offline Bilthehut

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2010, 04:03:34 PM »
How's the tunnel going?

Offline Bilthehut

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2010, 10:55:45 PM »
Chaps and Chapesses, I think we need to send a rescue party.  I think Roger is trapped in his collapsed escape tunnel.

Tom

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2010, 11:38:16 PM »
No, Bill, he's fine... he's posted on the other thread.

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2010, 11:41:55 PM »
My claustrophobia took over and I abandoned the tunnel. It's now 11.35 p.m. and the laughter from the living room has become intermittent, although there are also occasional screams of "OH, NO! YOU'RE JOKING!"
I am very tired. I need sleep.

Jack

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2010, 11:44:57 PM »
Were you allowed to go to bed at all, or is it strictly Office/Bathroom/Kitchen only as your first post mentioned? Did you actually spend last night sleeping in the office? Or are you under instructions to stay awake until they leave on Sunday morning?

Offline Bilthehut

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Re: My Weekend.
« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2010, 11:59:45 PM »
No, Bill, he's fine... he's posted on the other thread.
What other thread?  Is there some thread I'm not supposed to know about?  I knew it - I'm missing something very devious here.  What the heck, I'm going to bed.

Roger, don't go to sleep in the tunnel unless you have adequate ventilation, and supplies.  You may get blocked in by the screamers.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2010, 12:02:30 AM by Bilthehut »