Yet something else that gets up my nose...

[Roger Kettle]

The "Celebrity Culture".
Those of you who live overseas may not have heard of Jordan, a woman who dominates the popular media over here. She has dated a famous footballer, has married a pop star, divorced a pop star, married someone else and has large breasts. Apparently, at her latest wedding, a photographer got punched which, obviously, merited a tabloid front page.
On TV, we have Celebrity Mastermind, where celebrities answer questions.
We have Celebrity Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, wher celebrities answer questions.
We have Celebrity Family Fortunes, where celebrities answer questions.
Want some cooking?
We have Celebrity Masterchef, Celebrity Can't Cook Won't Cook and Celebrity Pressure Cooking.
Antiques?
We have Celebrity Bargain Hunt, Celebrity Cash In The Attic...
WHHHHYYYY??? WHO CARES ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?

Lawyers' Note: We would like to point out that Roger's views have nothing to do with the tabloid newspapers that pay his wages.

[Vulture]

The "Celebrity Culture".
Those of you who live overseas may not have heard of Jordan, a woman who dominates the popular media over here. She has dated a famous footballer, has married a pop star, divorced a pop star, married someone else and has large breasts. Apparently, at her latest wedding, a photographer got punched which, obviously, merited a tabloid front page.
On TV, we have Celebrity Mastermind, where celebrities answer questions.
We have Celebrity Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, wher celebrities answer questions.
We have Celebrity Family Fortunes, where celebrities answer questions.
Want some cooking?
We have Celebrity Masterchef, Celebrity Can't Cook Won't Cook and Celebrity Pressure Cooking.
Antiques?
We have Celebrity Bargain Hunt, Celebrity Cash In The Attic...
WHHHHYYYY??? WHO CARES ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?  More to the point, Roger, WHO ARE they?

Lawyers' Note: We would like to point out that Roger's views have nothing to do with the tabloid newspapers that pay his wages.

[Diane CBPFC]

Bugger! They never asked you to be in Millionaire this year either.

[Bilthehut]

 . You read my mind, Diane.

[Joan]

I love a chuckle first thing in the morning.

PS I have heard of Jordan.  Had to look her up the first time her name appeared in a book or something. Her overriding claim to fame appeared to be big boobs.

[Feather]

I'll see your "Jordan" and raise you Kim Kardashian and Hugh Hefner's leftover love trio.

[Bilthehut]

Nope.  Don't know them (except for Hugh) - (but not personally). 

[Bilthehut]

Her overriding claim to fame appeared to be big boobs.

- and an over-inflated ego.

[Joan]

Her overriding claim to fame appeared to be big boobs.

- and an over-inflated ego.

... to go with the boobs, I suppose.

[Roger Kettle]

Bugger! They never asked you to be in Millionaire this year either.

I've been asked to go on television a couple of times and I declined both offers with alacrity. The thought of appearing on the box fills me with horror and that ain't going to change. I did a radio interview once and I was awful---public speaking just isn't my thing.

[Mince]

It's all awful. They'll have celebrity notice boards next.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

The day after I appeared on Countdown, I was followed round Woolworths by an elderly gentleman in a flat cap, who kept pointing at me and arguing with his missus. The following day, I took up my usual season ticket seat at the football. A similarly elderly capped gentleman sat beside me, the same season ticket seat he had sat in all year without so much as a word to me. After ten minutes and a lull in proceedings, without making eye contact, he addressed me with, "Saw ye on the telly the other day". I smiled to cover my blushes. "Ye were shite!" he said, then we never spoke again.

I think we need a little sympathy here - we celebrities don't all live on Easy Street, y'ken!

[The Peepmaster]

I recently read that Jordan's new boyfriend is a cage-fighter. Not a brain surgeon, a cartoonist, or a professor of astrophysics. That says a lot.

[Bilthehut]

I recently read that Jordan's new boyfriend husband is a cage-fighter. Not a brain surgeon, a cartoonist, or a professor of astrophysics. That says a lot.

But for how long will probably depend on how much the celebrity magazines will pay for the story.

From BBC News:
"Reality TV star Katie Price and Alex Reid have had their marriage blessed at a ceremony in Surrey on Saturday.  Stars including Danielle Lloyd and Melinda Messenger attended the service at St Paul's Church in Woldingham.

The reception was held at Price's former marital home with ex-husband Peter Andre. The blessing was filmed as part of an ITV2 special.  In February Price and Reid tied the knot in Las Vegas after dating for seven months.  They met shortly after Price and Andre, who have two children together, divorced in September.

[The ceremony will be shown in a three-part ITV2 series later this summer]" 

So, now we know.  Be prepared to set your TV recorders to make sure you MISS this 3-part extravaganza.

[Feather]

I looked up "Jordan." She looks far older than her age.

I guess she is the UK version of Pamela Anderson.