This "growing old" business.

[Roger Kettle]

I'm not sure when I lost touch with the world. It may well have been as far back as the Eighties. The fact that I am communicating with you on here means that, obviously, I have tackled at least one of today's technological advances but, in general, the world is a mystery. I watched a quiz show the other evening which required the contestants to name several current celebrities. I knew not one. Now, even I have heard of Beyonce but I had no idea that she was married to some rapper chap whose name appeared to be made up mostly of initials. (Inspired by this, I'm toying with changing my name to R.K. Cartoonster).
My back aches from time to time.
I swear at the television.
I open sentences with "I remeber when..."
I have no idea how to tweet.
I have no desire to tweet.
I am, in short, old.

[Redundant]

I was miffed when my children had the temerity to grow up and when my grandchildren started doing the same I tried rebelling but resistance was futile.  Apparently it's okay to drag granddad round the woods playing bows and arrows when you're six but when you're fifteen it's all excuses when grandad suggests a rematch.   I'm more a of a techie, but haven't quite grasped the social aspect, I have a facebook page I visit once a year to see what I'm doing [nothing apparently], A twitter account I haven't visited in over two years, I find muttering to myself less stressful and a "blog" for the occasional irate diatribe which I am embarrassed to read six months later.

I have hair growing out my ears and nose, but avoiding my head completely
I [allegedly] "grunt" when I sit down or stand up
I don't watch television but I'd be happy to swear at it

A friend told me the ultimate test [for men at least], and I remembered it the other night when I was out trying to figure out my new camera.   I saw some girls queuing outside a club, and one had legs up to her neck and appeared to be wearing a scarf for a skirt.  My friend told me that you know you are old when you look at a girl like that, and your first thought is "she'll catch a chill dressed like that"

[Egg]

So........when is one deemed old? Is it a certain age or when the above criteria is met?
I know how to twitter on Twatter, but out of choice, don't! I don't Fizzog Book either!
I've actually seen Mr Bonce when he was supporting Coldplay at LCCC.

I think the stage at which one is actually deemed old is when you're asked......... "Pissed your pants
again Mr Egg?"

[Jack]

It's not beauty, but age that is in the eye of the beholder.

When you're a little kid in school, 30 seems ANCIENT.
When you're almost 30, that's still young, but those folk in their 50s need to steady on in case they break a hip.

I'm not sure what people in their 50s consider old, because I'm not that knackered and worn-out I haven't reached that milestone yet.

Generally, I suspect that people tend to think of "old" as synonymous with "of a similar age to my parents".

[Vulture]

My back aches from time to time. AGREE
I swear at the television. DON'T HAVE A TV
I open sentences with "I remeber when..." WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.....
I have no idea how to tweet. AGREE
I have no desire to tweet. AGREE
I am, in short, old. NEARLY - I AM SHORT AND OLD

The problem, I find, is that I didn't grow old, I woke up on morning and I was old.

[Malc]

For men, growing old is when they can't, er......you know. 

I hope that for me, that day is a long way off, but everything else I reckon I can cope with.

I think that for women it's different. I would be interested to know what single function women feel defines them as "young" to the extent that when it's gone (or radically diminished) they feel officially Old.

[The Peepmaster]

Probably when they start getting breathless after doing the ironing.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Probably when they start getting breathless after doing the ironing.

My point exactly, and that's why you need to make sure they do it on a regular basis. It helps them stay younger longer.

[Malc]

...so really, when you think about it, NOT getting them to do the ironing is tantamount to neglect.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

...so really, when you think about it, NOT getting them to do the ironing is tantamount to neglect.

...and do we ever get any thanks for our caring sides?

[Mince]

So really women should be thanking us for making them do all the ironing.

[Malc]

I think I've taken this as far as I dare...

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I think I've taken this as far as I dare...

Then allow me, Sir. The answer to Mince's statement, whoever he is, is yes and no.

Yes, because ironing can burn up to an estimated 140 calories per hour. Therefore the longer you leave your sweetheart ironing, the better it is for them. I mean, I don't really need my socks ironed both sides, but if it helps, then I'll do my bit. If you look at it long term, by the time you've allowed them to iron and add in the calories from cooking for you and fetching a few beers of a night, it nearly adds up to that gym workout that they always complain they don't have time for.

No, because along the way, some misguided male inventor decided that the heavy irons that were hearth heated, could be bettered by making them electric and lighter. Ladies of the board, no offence, but this hasn't helped you. I reckon you could almost have doubled the calories burned if the old traditional irons had been kept.

(I'm off to hide in a cave for few years...I'll leave my ironing outside if anyone wants to pick it up)

 

[Diane CBPFC]

What's this ironing of which you speak?

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

What's this ironing of which you speak?

In my house, it's now a mythical reference to something that used to happen to my clothes.