Roger, this is the type of thing you are missing...

[Diane CBPFC]

...not being on Facebook.

[Roger Kettle]

My life seems so empty without it, Di.....
However, I do have a confession to make. My wife has replaced her mobile phone and given me her old one. Of course, I've not actually used the damn thing yet but, for the first time in my life, I own one. 

[Bilthehut]

is it charged up?

[Diane CBPFC]

Well your first call should be something epic Roger. Maybe you will see a downed tree on a railway line and, using your mobile phone, call the railway and save hundreds of lives, or perhaps you will be the first to see an alien invasion and alert the military…or way cool would be when your youngsters are sitting around you in the garden, you casually pick up the phone and order them a delivery pizza.

Life will never be the same.

[The Peepmaster]

More likely that he'll see the downed tree across the railway line, grab the phone, try to turn it on, look for the instruction manual, ask his wife for help, then turn it on, press the wrong button accidentally turning it off again, turn it back on, forget the number he has to dial, turn it to camera function, ask how to revert to phone mode, pop back to the house to get his glasses, forget the number again, reacquaint himself with the number, dial it, and finally speak to an emergency services operator who advises him that they're rather busy at the moment dealing with a horrific railway accident.

[Roger Kettle]

That's just happened.

[Mince]

Roger, don't use the mobile phone while driving.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

More likely that he'll see the downed tree across the railway line, grab the phone, try to turn it on, look for the instruction manual, ask his wife for help, then turn it on, press the wrong button accidentally turning it off again, turn it back on, forget the number he has to dial, turn it to camera function, ask how to revert to phone mode, pop back to the house to get his glasses, forget the number again, reacquaint himself with the number, dial it, and finally speak to an emergency services operator who advises him that they're rather busy at the moment dealing with a horrific railway accident.

That's just happened.

This is exactly why the world still needs Lassie.

[Diane CBPFC]