"Business Letter to Kettle Roger"

[The Peepmaster]

Just received this. It sounds important...

Business Letter from Rowland J. Berger,
CEO of Rowland J. Berger Strategy Consultants

Attn:

With all due respect and absolute sincerity, I present to you this business offer. Having realized how astonished you might be considering the manner in which your contact profile got to our office and also why such profile intrigued us, let me first of all appeal for your understanding, as the intention behind this proposal is a perfectly genuine one.                                                         
My name is Rowland J. Berger, CEO of Rowland J. Berger Strategy Consultants. I have been consulted by a team of reputable top government Executives from one of the newly discovered mineral rich zones in Eastern part of Africa to source or identify (and scrutinize) a qualified, reliable and reputable investment fund manager in your country, who has the capability, qualities and relevant prerequisites to discreetly arrange transfers, protect and invest the sum of 55- million-U.S.D. (Fifty Five million USD) for a period of 10 calendar years. This team facilitates the award of various mineral exploration, construction and mainly oil lifting contracts in their region to various overseas contractors based on their personal interest.  Surprisingly enough, they have indicated unflinching interest to invest in your home country for their own personal reasons. 
I am of the opinion and do strongly believe that you are aware of the recent discoveries of various minerals and  large deposits of Crude oil in East Africa triggering the influx of foreign investors and explorers to the oil rich zone for various contracts. My clients are the top executives in charge of various oil based projects in the region and they have facilitated the award of quite a number of contracts to foreign based firms and in the process realized large volume of funds as compensation. They discreetly intend to remove the funds from where it is currently situated and invest same in your home country under the supervision and management of a qualified individual or institution. This is why I contacted you having done a thorough background check on your profile with satisfactory results. I have also thoroughly investigated all the government officials and verified the authenticity of the deal and source of funds hence I welcome you to this noble cause. This offer is not open to the public and for more information about the discovery of oil and other natural resources in East Africa please do kindly visit: 
http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/africa/east-africa-oil-boom-builds-excitement

The terms of the deal are as follows:

1.   10% of total investment funds shall be paid to investment fund manager for every effort discreetly facilitate the removal of investment funds from current location to investor’s home country.
2.   Upon investment of the remaining investment funds, 60% of all yearly profit shall go to investor’s purse while 40% of same shall go to investment fund manager’s purse and the investment capital shall remain the sole property of the investor.
3.   The project shall span for a period of 10 calendar years. 
4.   The team is interested in stable investments yielding great returns yearly. They have stated that without limitations to other options investor may suggest, they are interested in the areas of tourism, Agriculture, stock, Real Estate, Property Rentals, IT, import and export, and Hospitality -Hotels.


In this difficult times enshrined in uncertainties and harsh economic turmoil, it has become extremely difficult outsourcing reliable and reputable business partners overseas and it has also become rare finding legitimate businesses through the web. In as much as the above stated holds waters, I must also state that good businesses are still being conducted online every day and there are still good people in the world in these present times. I obtained your esteemed profile from your country´s business publication and I am sure that It will not be a regrettable waste to give this offer that I am about to unveil to you a trial.
To request details, proof of funds , identities, Memorandum of Agreement and other vital information in pursuant of this great deal please feel free to contact them directly  at the email address:    easternoilproject@prokonto.pl  , subsequently; call them on their Direct Tel. number:  +256-754416026. (Attn: Tony Muyenga). Provide them also your mobile number and other contact details for speedy and effective communication including your corporate and company profiles.
For further information about the discoveries of oil and other mineral resources in Eastern Africa please visit:
http://www.businessdailyafrica.com/East-Africa-plans-tighter-laws-to-protect-minerals/-/539546/1517466/-/b05gj6/-/index.html
http://www.howwemadeitinafrica.com/east-africa-%E2%80%93-the-next-frontier-for-mining-in-africa/17084/
http://www.ogaden.com/opinion/556-a-glimpse-into-east-africas-natural-resources.html

Thanks,
Best Regards,
Rowland J. Berger                                                                                           CEO of Roland J. Berger Strategy Consultants.
Note: This is an authentic business offer requiring a proactive and committed individual hence do contact them urgently at  the email address     easternoilproject@prokonto.pl  . Call them afterwards on their Direct  Tel. number:  +256-754416026. (Attn: Tony Muyenga). Provide them also your mobile number and other contact details for speedy and effective communication including your corporate and company profiles.

[Roger Kettle]

Gosh! Count me in!

[The Peepmaster]

It's only "spam" and only an idiot would be fooled by it. :-)

[Malc]

So how much did you give him?

[Malc]

I saw a doco on a guy who decided to play these scammers for all they were worth, He pretended to be taken in by them, then recorded all their correspondence, over weeks and months, reeling them in with promises that he'd deposit even more money - even getting to the stage where they fell for his invitation to meet him in Amsterdam, where he recorded them on video waiting outside a bank! He didn't even travel there for the meeting, he just used the street webcam across the road. I can't trace the documentary at the moment, but it's bound to be on You Tube.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Sorry, I know it's obviously a great business opportunity for those and such as those, but click on the link for the real money-maker.
Yep, turn your cremation ashes into glass. What a winner. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just off to hoover Mother up from that field outside Fintry.

(Wonder if there's enough left to make that double glazing we always longed for?)   

[Roger Kettle]

I saw a doco on a guy who decided to play these scammers for all they were worth, He pretended to be taken in by them, then recorded all their correspondence, over weeks and months, reeling them in with promises that he'd deposit even more money - even getting to the stage where they fell for his invitation to meet him in Amsterdam, where he recorded them on video waiting outside a bank! He didn't even travel there for the meeting, he just used the street webcam across the road. I can't trace the documentary at the moment, but it's bound to be on You Tube.

Malc, there was a very funny book called "Delete This At Your Peril" which did a similar thing. It was written by a Dundee journalist, using the pseudonym Bob Servant and he replied to all these spam emails from Nigerian businessmen etc. He pretended to be a retired Dundee fast food "entrepreneur" and answered the emails using Dundonian vernacular. ( A kind of updated version of the famous "Henry Root Letters"). The character was picked up by the BBC and a series was made starring Brian Cox.

[The Peepmaster]

I remember those Henry Root letters. He included a pound in every missive he sent out, which helped him to get the indignant responses.