How old do you have to be...

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

"Aye son, it's a green winter that fills the graveyards"...

Words of wisdom from my ageing father regarding this years mild winter, to which my reply was, "It is that, Pops".  I am now disgusted with myself for agreeing. I'm too young to agree with phrases like that. I'm not even sure what it means. Where the hell do phrases like that come from anyway? Once you retire, are there secret classes they take you to and teach you these phrases? Do old people do their own masonic-type recognition thing that lets them know whether they're talking to a real oldie or just an imposter...a "youngie"...duping wrinklies with their Arran jumpers, flat caps, M&S leather gloves and Velcro trainers?

Next time I'm at a bus stop and one of the old buggers says, "Have I missed the 84, do you know?", I am going to roll my trouser leg up, draw a straight line across his forehead with my square, and say, "Aye, but the winter robin's testicles may be carved with a blunted cheese-string". Just see if I don't.

Od people.   

[Diane CBPFC]

Makes perfect sense to me Son of Pops.

Pops should join this forum whist you are out chasing down the 84.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Makes perfect sense to me Son of Pops.

Pops should join this forum whist you are out chasing down the 84.

Whist??  That's an old persons card game. Is that a code word sneaked in?

Tell me it ain't so, Diane...

Noooooooooooooooooooo.     

[Malc]

I'm gathering loads of those old sayings as I'm getting older. They're mostly bollocks of course, but they impress the youngsters. My goatee is now white (the 'tache bit still has colour) and I'm getting grey hair temples, like Stewart Grainger. I can't wait until I'm totally white, then I'll go all Gandalf and drop these aphorisms at every opportunity.

"All is fish that comes to the net"

"Fine words butter no parsnips"

"If the chain's still swinging, the seat's still warm"

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I'm gathering loads of those old sayings as I'm getting older. They're mostly bollocks of course, but they impress the youngsters. My goatee is now white (the 'tache bit still has colour) and I'm getting grey hair temples, like Stewart Grainger. I can't wait until I'm totally white, then I'll go all Gandalf and drop these aphorisms at every opportunity.

"All is fish that comes to the net"

"Fine words butter no parsnips"

"If the chain's still swinging, the seat's still warm"

You still have hair? Oh, you show off. 

Can't help but think that a tennis player would disagree with the first one.

[Malc]

I give you....the Murray Cod.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0c/Sizeable_Murray_cod.JPG

[Malc]

It may have been the first drama on TV that featured dementia sympathetically, (rather than old people who go ga-ga) and it was over 20 years ago, but  the most poignant and funny scene was when we cut to the old lady's kitchen to see EVERYthing labelled - cupboards had "CUPBOARD" written on them, etc...

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

"Every old sock meets and old shoe"

I have no idea what it means, but Kate Bush sings it in "Moments of Pleasure", so as far as I'm concerned, it's clever.

Beat that, Gandalf.

[Malc]

I hate to go all Mince on you, but "and old shoe"?

I agree, anything Kate puts in works. She put in my cable connection, for instance, during a lull in her career, when she diversified. Never had a problem with it.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I hate to go all Mince on you, but "and old shoe"?

I agree, anything Kate puts in works. She put in my cable connection, for instance, during a lull in her career, when she diversified. Never had a problem with it.

I was just checking that an extra "d" didn't do something silly like make the letters all fall into a pile in the middle of a post.

Well spotted Malc, test passed. The force is strong in you.