An announcement...

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I close my eyes, and it's there before me. I can even see your own sketch of it. Excellent gag, which I'm sure Andrew did justice to, Roger.

I'm glad the Jags were eventually saved, and that they're still in the top flight.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

It's funny Tarks, Plastic Whistle should be the best supported team in Scotland. Everyone has a certain soft spot for them.
When my apprenticeship was finished, I was moved to Ruchill hospital on Bilsland Drive. Slap bang in the middle of some of the worst areas in Glasgow, and some of the finest people (and some rogues) you could ever meet. Generous, helpful and as streetwise beyond belief. A short walk from the Drive, turn down Murano Street and you're soon on Firhill Street, casting your eyes on the famous stadium. I even used to hear the players training in Ruchill Park from the hospital (such language !!). I used to work nearly every Saturday morning then, and how many times did I go to see them? Once. Once in 12 years...and that was a preseason friendly against West Ham. Yet there's is still a result I will look for in a paper. A smile if they win, and an "ach" if they don't.
I'm not saying I should be a Partick a Thistle supporter, but I do have reason to be.  Should I, and all the others like me, get off our backsides and show support for a team that has more reason to mean something than just a traditional, "them" or "us" mentality, the club would surely be in a far better standing.

Up the Jags.   

[Malc]

Small world, I lived in Wynford Drive, just off Garrioch Road, Maryhill for two years and Firhill was my local football ground. I had no money, my dad didn't follow football and couldn't get to Parkhead, and in my local "Proddy" school, Shakespeare Primary, any mention of Celtic got you a kicking, so I became a genuine and keen attendee Jags fan. Never paid to get in, mind, I always used to sneak in round the north side, where the outer wall was crumbling and we could climb over easily.

Firhill was the first stadium I ever saw, and the emerald green of the pitch when I had cleared the interior was thrilling - much brighter than grass outside. There was no problem walking about either, crowds weren't huge, and kids could virtually go anywhere. This would have been about 1966 to '68, and I fell in love with the classic Partick Thistle red and yellow banded shirt with black collar and cuffs.

I was a Celtic fan going in, and this was also the time when Celtic won the European Cup, so my allegiance wasn't going to change, but the Jags were my secret crush.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I had a few jaunts down that neck of the woods, Malc. The Wynford was quite a place. I loved the fact that McDonalds was just down from The Viking pub, and for those who had staying power, Roxy's nightclub could be staggered to when they got flung out the pub.

Me? After a few in The Viking, a quarter pounder with cheese, and a wayward stagger back to a bus stop, I considered that I had consumed close enough to my five a day and exercised amply without the need for dancing to top up my health drive. Glasgow...unhealthy? Not in my eyes.

 

[Malc]

Ah, there were nae McDonalds restaurants in my day...

I used to go to sleep at night with the sounds of the Tong, the Fleet, the Valley, the Young Cumbae and other gangs fighting each other on the disused railway lines going over the Kelvin river. Glasgow was VERY unhealthy then.

 Happy days...

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Glasgow is much safer now. Sometimes the guns aren't even loaded...

[Malc]

You used to see men walking around with facial scars they'd received in "slashings" in the late 50s and 60s. I did NOT like living in Glasgow  as a kid. It was a terrible place.

Sorry, Glaswegians.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

That was the sloppy Glasgow when you got slashed with only a single blade, Malc. Now they double blade so you get a broad cut that's nigh on impossible to stitch neatly. Now that's the attention to detail that makes Scottish workmanship world renowned. 

[Malc]

This is one of my McGookin family stories. My lot get up to make the tea as soon as I start, but youse are a fresh audience.

We lived in Glasgow because my dad took a posting as a recruiting sergeant. His job was to look imposing and military and all-round impressive, so his work gear was his "Twos" uniform - that's the smart tan suit with big black hat, gold badges everywhere - with a large red sash.

That's how he was dressed when he brought me to Shakespeare Road Primary School one cold morning circa 1967. The bell had just rung and every kid was lined up in their class rows as we walked in the school gate. Many of the little wags started saluting, and although he didn't mean to, my dad had lined me up with a fight every playtime for about six months.

Mine's white with two. Sweeteners if you've got 'em.

[Roger Kettle]

Ow. Even from a distance, that smarts.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Mine's white with two.

You want to get it out in the sun some more then. 

[Malc]

Fnar.