My Christmas Newsletter.

[Roger Kettle]

Dear Friends,
It's been an up and down year for me. I bought a trampoline! (I know you expect some great gags from me so I thought I'd start with a zinger).
This is supposed to be hush-hush but I will be awarded a Knighthood in the New Year's Honours List. According to the official letter I got from Buckingham Palace, it is for " Brilliantness and Cleverosity in Cartoonism" so it can't possibly be a hoax. I think I will call myself Sir Roger of Beauhemia.
My health has been fine over the past twelve months, unlike last year when I had an exploratory camera pushed up my bottom. Serves me right for visiting dodgy photographers' shops.
I was lucky enough to visit my two favourite places on earth in the last year---Portugal and Montana. In the latter, I had a splendid time with my old pal, the journalist Ed Kemmick. (Please check out his wonderful site at www.lastbestnews.com for some great writing. If you type my name into his search system, you'll also find an article I wrote called "A Scotsman walks into a bar").
Okay, for various reasons, this site is struggling a wee bit at the moment but I'm grateful to those of you who are still hanging around. Have a great Christmas!

[Diane CBPFC]

Dear Friends,

It has been a year of just downs for me (I bought a one-way ladder by accident).

The Queen still doesn't know who I am even though a send her pictures of my bum every January, so there is no chance of a Baroness for me again this year either. I'm sure if she could only have seen my patriotic tattoo...

When you look at all the human tragedy around the world, unjust wars, financial inequality, diseases and racism etc, it is hard not to get depressed, but I have discovered something that makes me feel much better about life, its called apple cider - I have had two in the past week and I feel groovy.

I never went anywhere, so there was no need to write letters of apology - time saved there.

I, on behalf of the Canadian Beau Peep Fan Club, wish everyone who pops in here a lovely holiday season.

Brussels Sprouts Rule!
Diane

[Diane CBPFC]

I read your article Roger. Nice job. 

Did I ever tell you that my husband is related to Wild Bill Hickok? His mother was a Hickok before she was married.

[Roger Kettle]

You did, Diane.
I've been in the bar in Deadwood where Hickok was shot. It's a dangerous place---I bumped my elbow on the door on my way in.

[Redundant]

Mixed bag for me, ending on a downer with my wife being ill [she's getting better, a tad slowly but nevertheless], although the nursie uniform's a bonus.   Visits to Tel Aviv and Prague reminded me how much I love big city architecture, and loath big city populations, we only have 80,000 or so clinging to this rock [Isle of Man], and whereas I may not know 79,983 of them, we still all nod hello in passing.   Great holiday in Crete [never had a bad one], work is still a lot more fun than it used to be, and I got mistaken for Sean Connery the other day, albeit by an idiot who seemed disappointed when I pointed out Mr Connery is tall and slim whilst I am...not.   

The seasons felicitations to any and all and all the very best to you and yours, from me and mine.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Get well soon, Mrs Redundant!

There's no getting away from it - I've had a cracking year. I bought some eggs (the standard of jokes is getting no better... on the plus side, it's no worse either).

I became a Grandfather the day after my birthday in February, a good five weeks earlier than expected. Despite that, my wonderful Grandson enjoys rude health, and appears to have had no weight issues whatsoever due to his early arrival. He also has the best smile in the Universe, though I may be a tad biased. My eternal thanks go to my eldest daughter and her husband.

As Roger will tell you (if you torture him), My beloved St Johnstone beat his beloved Dundee United to lift their first ever Scottish Cup in 130 years of trying. I was lucky enough to be there, along with all four of my daughters, whom I've indoctrinated encouraged to support the Saints since birth. It were a grand day out indeed, and not simply a year highlight, but a lifetime one. Possibly never to be repeated within the time I have left.

In the summer, my second daughter accepted a proposal from her boyfriend, and I may get to make a speech before long.

All that, and the fulfilment of a lifetime's cartooning ambition earlier this year, and I really can complain about the past twelve months, other than they have sped past in ridiculously speedy fashion.

And there's the Bananaman movie to come next year...

Merry Christmas indeed!

And a Happy New year!

[Roger Kettle]

Thanks for posting your absolutely brilliant video here, Steve. I was going to ask you to do exactly that but you beat me to it!
A genuine treat.

[Malc]

My year was almost the same as the one before, frequent travelling twixt Oz and the UK, with family celebrations and bereavement mixed. We've had a massive birth-fest of babies, all of them gorgeous, as my mother's grandchildren start to have their own kids all at the same time - like a herd of wildebeest.
It's time for me to stop roaming, I'm determined that 2015 will be the year to settle. I am in the studio recording my album, and no, I'm not kidding. After that, I will form a band and play actual gigs. If I manage ten years of that, I will be nearly 70. They say 70 is the new 40. Or that might just be me.

With a bit of stable health and a fair bit of wind (damn you, irritable bowel), I will retire to the Cotswolds and do nothing but draw cartoons and have sex. I will be a grandparent by then, but will show absolutely no indulgent grandad traits, they can all f*ck off, peace and quiet will be my main goal in life, as well as curtain twitching, sitting in my underpants, shouting at the telly and testing my glucose levels.

Yes, the site is quiet, and I confess (speaking totally selfishly) I like it that way, it's my little bolt hole. We could all promote the existence of the Cameldung site on our FB pages, and we'd definitely get some more members, and I will offer that up as a possible joint New Year's Resolution for 2015?

However, I'm convinced that the only way the Beau Peep site will gain a massive, instant spike in traffic is for someone involved in a future ISIS beheading to be wearing a Beau Peep t shirt.

Not that any of us would want that. I'd maybe settle for the Stoke Poges Strangler to be arrested naked except for said t shirt, dragged out of a wendy house by irate neighbours and attended by every tabloid photographer.

Or, failing that, maybe Miley Cyrus wearing one in her next vid. Mind you, with the magic of CGI we can even fake that.

[Diane CBPFC]

If we are going to be promoting this site, I will have to take down the comment about my bottom.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Reasonably priced Friends,

This year has been one of enlightenment. Changed from ordinary to LED bulbs.  (bottom of the barrel now, surely).
I have learned so much this year, not least of which is the importance of family, friends and to  treat time with respect. The loss of a friend, who did nothing but keep fit and try to live healthy, has been this years low. Yet from that, I believe came the determination to stop putting things off and thus my "learn to scuba dive" decision was made.

My own achievements at Uni, have paled in comparison to my sons. Halfway through his honours year, he continues to impress lecturers and amaze myself. You guys who can draw (and write, of course!) have a gift. I could happily sit and watch the creation of scenes, characters etc for hours on end. Tarks, your video is a perfect example. Top notch, Sir.

My daughter will be heading to Uni to do her journalism this year, and I have a dream where she writes and my son draws, whilst I manage them both as a sideline, paying myself a huge undisclosed salary. Sweet!

All in all, I won't complain. We are all healthy and above ground, the fridge is full, and everything I look around at we have worked for and paid for. I forget, at times, how blessed the household is.
So yes, things ain't so bad, but I still "need" this site. I still very much consider myself a newbie. I recognise that my workload has cut my time down on it a tad, but that will change, and I shall annoy you all again shortly. I refuse to even consider cutting ties with a site that has gifted us that classis post of Malcs. "The McGookins were never the type to lie in bed all day doing nothing" is quite possibly the funniest thing I have heard in my 46yrs on this planet. Utter classic.

So quiet or not, I will continue to be here, though I do personally miss some who are gone. Onwards and upwards as I wise toy once said.
I wish you all, nothing but the very best for the coming year, and you all have my utmost thanks for the laughs (and near collapse at times) of the past year.

PS. I think we really should re-title this thread, "The Moderators Message"

 

[Malc]

quite possibly the funniest thing I have heard in my 46yrs on this planet. Utter classic.

Gawsh   

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Cheque to the usual address, and a signature on it this time would be great. 

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I think Malcolm just meant you need to get out more.

But it was funny.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I think Malcolm just meant you need to get out more.

But it was funny.

They don't allow me out anymore.

On my own.

Without supervision.

 

[Max]

Hello again fellow Peeps, Peepsters or whatever else we are calling ourselves this year.

Busy year for me, not many posts on here but I do read all of yours almost religiously (I pray they get better).

Lots business trips to England,  Italy, and very nearly Canada  (sorry Diane, I promise I'd have waved), sadly I swapped contracts and missed out.

Youngest son amazed me by becoming a Postman and has now completed his first year even though his MS had him in tears at times, he never missed a shift.

Haven't managed to get beyond the 20 lb barrier yet either after 8 years of pike fishing I'm still stuck on 19 1/2lbs, maybe next year eh?

Just like to wish all of you all the best for Christmas and that next year sees you happy and healthy, if not actually wealthy.

Max.