Football

[Mince]

Hah! Got you! This topic is really about Doctor Who.

Actually, it's not. I have never enjoyed football. But once upon a time I was rather mad about Wimbledon and tennis, and now I am not so mad: more and more I see it as millionaires bashing each other's balls. So I guess the question I want to ask is whether the football enthusiasts of this board, much as they support their team as much now as they ever did, if honest would conclude given the facts (number of visits to see the team play live, and whatever other obsessive thing one does when one enthuses about football) that their support or at least enthusiasm has waned.

[Roger Kettle]

I still go to live football matches but, in many ways, I have tired of the sport. Your tennis "millionaires" reference applies equally to football. If you watch two average English Premiership sides, let's say West Ham against Sunderland, you are watching a match involving 22 millionaires. The financial aspect of the game is simply ridiculous and has alienated many "traditional" supporters. For example, the AVERAGE wage of a Manchester City player is £100,000 per week. Obscene. The game is now being staged almost exclusively for television and the vast sums of money being thrown at it by the likes of Sky. The situation here in Scotland is nothing like that, of course. The problem up here is that the product is rank rotten.

[Mince]

I do know a bit about football, though. The offside rule is easy. There are two sides of the pitch, and two sides of players, and you have to stay on your own side otherwise you are offside. It's not as though it's hard to understand.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Au contraire, Monsieur Bouilloire. The product here is not rank rotten, it's way below that.

But you're right, a lot of traditional football fans have ditched what has become, a rather expensive, poor quality past-time. Will they ever return? I doubt it. I don't think there is enough infrastructure in place, to bring through new, better quality players. Sad.

[Mince]

Does this mean that all the rubbish teams can console themselves with the fact that they don't stoop to having millionaire footballers on their team?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I love the game more than ever. My team are the current Scottish Cup holders (for another week) having won their first major trophy in 130 years of trying last year, and me watching them for most of those (well, it felt like it). They also just happened to beat Roger's team in the final. Tomorrow, my team play their final game of the season, and it's still an important one. They are competing with...em...Roger's team for a possible place in the Europa League next season, and have a one point advantage at the moment, with Dundee United fielding ball boys at the moment on account of Celtic having bought all of their players this year. I could well end up with egg on my face tomorrow, but it's still an exciting weekend for me with everything to play for.

I honestly don't care about how much the players are paid (that's not their fault), and I am grateful for the TV coverage. I managed to see my team play in person three times last season, which isn't so bad when you consider each involved a 600-mile round trip, but thanks to TV coverage and the Interweb, I now get to see highlights of more of my team's games in a season than I have ever done, even when I lived in Perth (St Johnstone being my team). And the boring bits are all cut out!

Football's great! Tennis is great! Love talking balls!

[Mince]

So if one team buys all the players of another team, how are you in fact cheering on a team? You're just cheering on a name and whatever understudies the name can currently afford. In tennis, that would be like bringing on McEnroe because Federer is ill.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Well, it's a fair point, unless you support Tranmere Rovers, who still have the same team as when they were formed in 1884. They don't win too many matches though.

[Mince]

So if all the players from Dundee Thistle swapped over with St Jamestone, and vice versa, you'd still cheer them on?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Absolutely, because they'd finally have a shirt worth playing for!

[hides from Roger]

[Roger Kettle]

Come on! Who could possibly prefer your drab, mundane blue to our vibrant and, quite frankly, sexy tangerine?
I watch loads of sport on TV so it is a bit much for me to complain about it. My main beef is the timing of kick-offs for the benefit of the cameras. I like to go to matches at 3 p.m. on a Saturday and pop into the pub afterwards for a couple of beers and a chat about the game. This just doesn't work for me at 12.15 on a Sunday. Still, like I said, I really shouldn't complain. This week, I managed to do my work in between watching football, golf, cricket and darts. I couldn't find any mud-wrestling.

[Mince]

I like to go to matches at 3 p.m

I read that as "I like to go on marches".

[Roger Kettle]

I like to go to matches at 3 p.m

I read that as "I like to go on marches".

I read that as "I like togas on marchionesses".

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Come on! Who could possibly prefer your drab, mundane blue to our vibrant and, quite frankly, sexy tangerine?

Blue is the colour of champions. Tangerine is the colour of fruit.

[Mince]

This just doesn't work for me at 12.15 on a Sunday.

And 6:55 on a Saturday cuts into my dinner and watching Thunderbirds. I don't suppose you could have this scrap between Dundoo Athletic and Stirling Johnstone more in the morning? Tarquin's got the right idea with 9am.