Tonight.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

...I will be listening to loads of excellent music and intelligent non-fiction audiobooks, and eating heartily. All the best until then.

Mr Men is not "intelligent non-fiction".

How are you cooking your heartily, by the way?

[Mince]

Mr Men is a highly misunderstood philosophy about life.

And what's the point of revenge-hijacking a topic if everyone is going to take me seriously? 

[Roger Kettle]

Phil, I realised that you were "revenge-hacking" with a parody of my holiday announcement on your earlier thread. I was extremely upset and sobbed throughout my entire holiday after your original accusation. I did NOT hijack your thread! I commented favourably on your post and then cleverly used your quote about "having to work" to explain how I would NOT be working for the following week. Quite frankly, I thought this was quite a brilliant link. Stunningly clever, in fact.

[Mince]

Well, after reading that explanation and everything else you wrote in your post, and considering the impersonal and easily misunderstood nature of internet communication, along with the realisation that I may have been a tad hasty, I think the least I can say is . . . What a crybaby! A whole week? You're such a girl!

And next time, perhaps you would make yourself a little clearer by beginning with "Speaking of work . . ." 

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Always worth remembering that smileys are a very useful way of defusing any potential misunderstanding!

[Roger Kettle]

I was going to say something about managing to stop sobbing while I ate my sea bass and drank my beer when a classic Simpsons episode popped into my head. Anyone remember the one about Homer having a lobster as a pet? When he finally eats it, there's a brilliant sequence with him alternately sobbing and doing his classic drool. No?
As you were. Carry on.

[Redundant]

I've just had dinner in my home with a 58 year-old, bald, fat, Manx accountant called...damn you mirror
Any questions?

[Mince]

I've just had dinner in my home with a 58 year-old, bald, fat, Manx accountant called...damn you mirror
Any questions?

Yes, is this topic going to end up being the Four Yorkshireman sketch?

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I've just had dinner in my home with a 58 year-old, bald, fat, Manx accountant called...damn you mirror
Any questions?

Yes, is this topic going to end up being the Four Yorkshireman sketch?

Yoo could end this topic? Yoooo were looky !! Ah used t'dream of endink topic ! Coulsons these days !!

I was going to say something about managing to stop sobbing while I ate my sea bass and drank my beer when a classic Simpsons episode popped into my head. Anyone remember the one about Homer having a lobster as a pet? When he finally eats it, there's a brilliant sequence with him alternately sobbing and doing his classic drool. No?
As you were. Carry on.

Pinchy the Lobster. Surely one of the best episodes ever.   

[Redundant]

Yoo could end this topic? Yoooo were looky !! Ah used t'dream of endink topic ! Coulsons these days !!

That's possibly [or to be truthful; definitely] the worst Yorkshire accent I have ever read

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Yoo could end this topic? Yoooo were looky !! Ah used t'dream of endink topic ! Coulsons these days !!

That's possibly [or to be truthful; definitely] the worst Yorkshire accent I have ever read

Me an t'ferrets thank thee for t'kind words, lad.

Yorkiness is like a second language to me. Uncanny. I've never lost it.

[Redundant]

As I am sure everyone already knows the Manx are a Celtic race and as such my affinity for a second language naturally lends itself to those same Celtic roots.   In the admittedly smug certainty that the next demonstration of a Manx accent I see or hear will be the first demonstration of the same, I can say with hand on heart that for me it has always been the Scotlandly language that I felt most at home with.

"Och aye oor Willie where's the bairn and ma tablet.   In ma day we couldna afford a whole Topic and hadtea mak doo with a Snickers, ach I remember all too well me and the rest of the bairns crowded round a sassenach's tongue for warmth after the wee man had finished sucking on a Fisherman's Friend"

[Roger Kettle]

That's the BEST Yorkshire accent I've ever read!

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Being a bit of a cunning linguist, I can state that not only is the dialect spookily accurate, I can also date it to post 1990.

Prior to that date, Snickers was known as Marathon.

[Redundant]

Being a bit of a cunning linguist, I can state that not only is the dialect spookily accurate, I can also date it to post 1990.

Prior to that date, Snickers was known as Marathon.

Da*n you Holmes and your unrivalled knowledge of confectionery.