Tonight.

[Roger Kettle]

I've just had dinner in my home with a 22 year-old, blonde, Italian ballerina called Bianca.
Any questions?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

You didn't buy a Euromillions Lottery ticket this week, by any chance?

[Roger Kettle]

No.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

What are you going to do when she regains consciousness?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

And what did you have with your chips?

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Ballerinas don't eat chips. I saw it on a ballerina programme. It was called " Ah Dona Aida da chips"...I think.

[Redundant]

Strange name for a bloke...

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

 

[Roger Kettle]

At one stage in the evening, I suddenly remembered I had some Beau Peep books that had been published in Italian. What a marvellous gift, I thought. Not only would this explain what I do for a living but it was also written in her native language. As she leafed though the pages, an expression came over her face which will forever be known in this household as the "baffled ballerina" look.

[Redundant]

I can't believe no-one said "Should have gone to Specsavers"

At one stage in the evening, I suddenly remembered I had some Beau Peep books that had been published in Italian. What a marvellous gift, I thought. Not only would this explain what I do for a living but it was also written in her native language. As she leafed though the pages, an expression came over her face which will forever be known in this household as the "baffled ballerina" look.

It's all Greek to me.

[Mince]

That made me smile.
From tomorrow, for about a week, I will be stripping wallpaper and boxing things up, so I might be a bit scarce. On the plus side, I will be listening to loads of excellent music and intelligent non-fiction audiobooks, and eating heartily. All the best until then.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

That made me smile.
From tomorrow, for about a week, I will be stripping wallpaper and boxing things up, so I might be a bit scarce. On the plus side...

That wasn't the plus side? (Kidding!    ) Have fun, and be safe!

Roger, have you actually ever had the translation of the Beau Peep books checked? There are some naughty scamps about.

[Roger Kettle]

No, Steve, I've never had the Italian translations checked. The guy who did them, Don Corleone, seemed a really nice guy.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Oh, bugger - does that mean you owe him a favour...?

[Redundant]

Maybe you should get him a horse as a thank you gift...