Mince's New World Order

[Mince]

RULE 1: It's legal, entirely acceptable, and indeed encouraged, to slap anyone who steps in front of you with a shopping trolley in a supermarket and stops stop dead and looks around, ignoring where they're going.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Gets my vote.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Nah, not getting mine Tarks. My pet hate is getting my Achilles' tendons rattled by supermarket trolleys pushed by vegans, who are too weak to stop the trolley momentum, due to malnutrition from eating tofu, quorn, wallpaper and paving slabs.

I like to stop in front of them to see what their stopping distance is!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Gets my vote.

[Mince]

RULE 2: Smartarse Scottish tossers called Sandy, whose only two working braincells are addled by pollutants and cholesterol, ought to be flogged daily in the street by bored school children.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Gets my vo... hang on - there's no need to bring cholesterol into this. 

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

RULE 2: Smartarse Scottish tossers called Sandy, whose only two working braincells are addled by pollutants and cholesterol, ought to be flogged daily in the street by bored school children.

Only thing flogged daily in Scotland is The Big Issue!

Gets my vo... hang on - there's no need to bring cholesterol into this. 

Quite right...you're just as manly as everyone else.

[Diane CBPFC]

I suggest you keep an anger management journal - it did wonders for Rhod Gilbert.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf17XyPEnQk

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Brilliant, Diane !