« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Two Films at Once  (Read 3537 times)

Offline Mince

  • .
  • Posts: 6978
  • Utter Waste of Time
Two Films at Once
« on: February 25, 2017, 11:33:45 AM »
My wife wants me to watch the Twilight films, and given that I have steadfastly refused to watch any of them up till now, I am hoping to continue that tradition for the rest of my life. I remember a short review of the books: "Yes, we get it. Edward is hot. Move on!"

I have just been told by my wife that Edward (presumably the hot one) is a vampire, and Jacob (don't  care) is a werewolf.

So I said to my wife: "Could the author not decide whether to make the books about vampires or werewolves, so she decided to just do both? That's about as stupid as having the Titanic sinking, and having . . . (had a quick think) zombies running around killing everyone." And then I realised that that would actually be a film I would like to watch. Zombies on the Titanic.

So does anyone else have two films that could be combined into one much better film?
Logged

Offline Roger Kettle

  • Roger
  • *
  • Posts: 5008
  • Ho! Ho! £$%^&* Ho!
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2017, 08:55:54 PM »
BROKEBACK JAWS.
A rogue shark swims up the Missouri river and eats gay cowboys in Montana.
Logged

Sandy Buttcheeks

  • Guest
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2017, 12:42:45 AM »
Firstly...do not ever let her watch The Twilight Saga. They stink. As someone brought up reading and watching classic horror, the films annoy to the point of despair. If the good lady wants to watch love stories, let her watch...I don't know...50 Shades. The women all want to watch that for some reason, theses days.

Snow White and the Raging Bull
An aging boxer shows a Princess how it can hurt in the ring.
Logged

Offline Mince

  • .
  • Posts: 6978
  • Utter Waste of Time
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2017, 09:09:09 PM »
Quote from: Sandy Buttcheeks on February 27, 2017, 12:42:45 AM
Snow White and the Raging Bull
An aging boxer shows a Princess how it can hurt in the ring.

I can imagine the dwarves cheering her on from the ropes.
Logged

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

  • .
  • Posts: 5847
  • They call me Tarqs... and other stuff.
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2017, 10:29:42 PM »
I'd like to see a remake of the deadly virus thriller, 'Outbreak', as a musical, set in the Austrian Alps at the outbreak of World War Two, with lots of sick nuns and Nazis. I'd call it 'The Sound Of Mucus'.
« Last Edit: February 27, 2017, 10:31:56 PM by Tarquin Thunderthighs lll »
Logged
I apologise, in advance.

Sandy Buttcheeks

  • Guest
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2017, 12:16:21 AM »
With that famous last song, "So long, farewell, atchoo atchoo atchoo" ?

 (y)
Logged

Redundant

  • Guest
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2017, 10:06:41 AM »
I hate you all, two days racking my somewhat limited brain and I have nothing...nothing!!!
Logged

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

  • .
  • Posts: 5847
  • They call me Tarqs... and other stuff.
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2017, 11:15:10 AM »
Quote from: Sandy Buttcheeks on February 28, 2017, 12:16:21 AM
With that famous last song, "So long, farewell, atchoo atchoo atchoo" ?

 (y)

 ;D

Quote from: Redundant on February 28, 2017, 10:06:41 AM
I hate you all, two days racking my somewhat limited brain and I have nothing...nothing!!!

Keep trying, Red. I've been a professional humour monger for almost 40 years, and that was the best I could come up with.  ???
Logged
I apologise, in advance.

Redundant

  • Guest
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2017, 01:16:24 PM »
I got one!!!

101 Dalmatians:The Cruel Sea


What do you mean you don't get it?   Puppies, big sack, drowning, Cruella de Vil wins...  Why do I bother. (*coat*)
Logged

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

  • .
  • Posts: 5847
  • They call me Tarqs... and other stuff.
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2017, 03:48:30 PM »
 ;D

As the beakless budgie once said, if at first you don't suck seed...
Logged
I apologise, in advance.

Egg

  • Guest
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2017, 06:35:35 PM »
Bambi and The Deer Hunter!  :-X
Logged

Offline Mince

  • .
  • Posts: 6978
  • Utter Waste of Time
Re: Two Films at Once
« Reply #11 on: February 28, 2017, 10:04:57 PM »
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »