"I can see for miles," said Miles' guide dog.

[Mince]

So what's your favourite pun?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Is that a doughnut or a meringue?

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Is that a doughnut or a meringue?

 

Is this just a Scottish thing?

[Diane CBPFC]

Why do cows lie down in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Is that a doughnut or a meringue?

 

Is this just a Scottish thing?

Naw, you're right - it's a doughnut.

[Max]

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive.
In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.

However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A Scottish voice from the back of the room shouts, "Aye, right."

[Roger Kettle]

 

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

 

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Max, that's actually brilliant! I just read it out loud, with appropriate emphasis. Laughed out loud too. I can't wait to share it, but tragically, I may have to travel the best part of 300 miles to make it worthwhile.

[Mince]

[...] but tragically, I may have to travel the best part of 300 miles to make it worthwhile.

I assume the best part of 300 miles would be that part that is England. Is the remaining worst part of the 300 miles Scotland?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

As is customary, you couldn't be more wrong. 

[Diamond Lil]

 

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

[Max]

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

So lets all sing along eh?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wr-kn0JG5p4