Malc's Mighty Bulldogs. Who Could Have Guessed It Would End Like This?

[Malc]

Well, bugger me.

Eight of my team have been selected to represent Brisbane in a sort of Super League and therefore I now have no job.

They were free to trial as part of the new Rebel Sports Premier League which pits teams from SW Queensland, the Sunshine Coast, Gold Coast, North Brisbane, and other regions against each other in a sort of super-competition run by FFA, the national body for football in Australia.

Unfortunately, due to a boycott by two of the biggest local clubs (imagine if Rangers and Celtic withheld their players from Scotland selection) my players now make up the majority of our local rep team.

I'm gutted. My son was selected, but I'm still gutted.

[Roger Kettle]

Nightmare, Malc! I have this vision of a lonely cartoonist wandering the streets of Brisbane, desperately trying to coach any kid he sees kicking a tin can.

[Vulture]

Well, bugger me.

Eight of my team have been selected to represent Brisbane in a sort of Super League and therefore I now have no job.

They were free to trial as part of the new Rebel Sports Premier League which pits teams from SW Queensland, the Sunshine Coast, Gold Coast, North Brisbane, and other regions against each other in a sort of super-competition run by FFA, the national body for football in Australia.

Unfortunately, due to a boycott by two of the biggest local clubs (imagine if Rangers and Celtic withheld their players from Scotland selection) my players now make up the majority of our local rep team.

I'm gutted. My son was selected, but I'm still gutted.

Does this mean no more weekly updates? 

[The Peepmaster]

Nightmare, Malc! I have this vision of a lonely cartoonist wandering the streets of Brisbane, desperately trying to coach any kid he sees kicking a tin can.

"It's okay, Officer, I was just wandering the streets looking for kids". No, I don't think so, Roger.  :

[Malc]

Vulture, I'm now a sought-after coach, as eight of my team are now rep players, but if I take a job somewhere else I won't be able to see my older son play his games, so it's a bit of a quandary.

The Mighty Bulldogs was shaping up to be an enjoyable ride, a real underdog-makes-good story, you wouldn't believe the hurdles certain a**holes put in place for me, but now that potential has all gone.

[Mince]

Vulture, I'm now a sought-after coach ...

How do you know? Do people ring you up all the time and ask you to be their coach?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Vulture, I'm now a sought-after coach ...

How do you know? Do people ring you up all the time and ask you to be their coach?

Well I know I do, but the line is always engaged. Must be those other coach-seekers.

[Malc]

How do you know? Do people ring you up all the time and ask you to be their coach?

Yes. So shut up.

[Mince]

Yes. So shut up.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to need statistics.

[Malc]

They would be irrelevant, because just as you need statistics, I knead statistics.

[Mince]

 

Coaches need to be creative.

[The Peepmaster]

Coaches need to be creative.

You'd make a good coach - if they took your teeth out and installed seats.

[Mince]

Yes, and you would be a cruise liner.

[Malc]

Oh har de har.

That's an old Brian Clough gag.

Anyway, despite the hundreds of phone calls I'm receiving daily, I won't be taking up a coaching position this year as in May I'm doing a REFEREE's course!!

Mwuahahahahaha! I'm going over to the dark side, (which pays a lot better, incidentally).

Look forward to receiving daily updates on little-known laws of the game, how referees are misunderstood and how players are a bunch of complaining, cheating, thick gits.

[Roger Kettle]

The classic poacher turned gamekeeper. Good luck with that, Malc--- may the pea in your whistle never let you down.