Horses.

[Roger Kettle]

I will be in town tomorrow (Dundee) and therefore in the vicinity of bookies. I would appreciate any racing tips. These tips will be useful, and much appreciated, until around 11.30 a.m. Thank ypu.

[Mince]

Make sure you bet on a horse with four legs. Those three-legged ones aren't as good.

[Malc]

A good tip is to wait until the race is over, then write out the slip and take it to the bookie saying you forgot to put the bet on, and is it alright to put it on now, especially as your horse won?
Bookies, being in the caring profession, are understanding and easily fooled.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I actually tried that once, Malc, but typical of my luck, I chose the one bookie that had a heart of stone and a brain of broken glass.

[The Peepmaster]

Back the one with the "pretty hooves". (With acknowledgement to Flo in Andy Capp).

[Roger Kettle]

I thought the one with the prettiest hooves was called Marcus and ran at Wincanton. Check the result.

[The Peepmaster]

50/1 - I'm impressed! You should have had it in a double with Bertie May in the next race. That won at 66/1 

[Roger Kettle]

Did I, at any stage, say I'd actually bet on Marcus?

[The Peepmaster]

Did I, at any stage, say I'd actually bet on Marcus?

It's Okay - no-one's asking for a share of your spoils!