Most Haunted

[Mince]

This programme should be honestly titled: "Stupid gullible t*&%s walking around in the dark."

[Roger Kettle]

And what should the people who watch it be called?

[The Peepmaster]

And what should the people who watch it be called?

"Mince and colleagues".

At least Mince isn't a "tw*t walking about in the dark". I hear he keeps the lights on.

[Mince]

I watched it until boredom set in, which was about three minutes.

[Mince]

It's as bad as that Loch Ness rubbish.

[The Peepmaster]

I watched it until boredom set in, which was about three minutes.

The TV became bored and switched itself off?

[Mince]

The TV became bored and switched itself off?

Yes, try to keep up.

The television has a low boredom threshold.

[The Peepmaster]

The TV became bored and switched itself off?

Yes, try to keep up.

The television has a low boredom threshold.

If I was the TV in your house, I'd elope.

[Mince]

Yes, but we already have one. You'll have to play "televisions" somewhere else. Don't you have a cardboard box to keep you quiet?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

It's as bad as that Loch Ness rubbish.

And what rubbish might that be?

[Mince]

It's as bad as that Loch Ness rubbish.

And what rubbish might that be?

Apparently there are some complete dimwits who think there is a monster in there.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

But of course, you've had a good look and you didn't find one.

[Mince]

No, actually, I have found loads of dimwits.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I don't believe in dimwits, because I've never seen one.

[Mince]

I bet everyone you've met has met at least one.

Seriously, though, inability to prove its absence is not a good enough reason for believing in its existence.