Why I Hate Football

[Mince]

Reason 1:

They have dramatic opening music every time after the adverts to pretend that some kind of world war is taking place when in fact it's just a bunch of fellas kicking a football around.

[Roger Kettle]

I don't really have time to answer this--- the second half of Blackburn/Manchester United is about to start. However, I would like to point out that your "reason 1" has nothing to do with the game of football and everything to do with the naff way television companies present it.

[Mince]

Reason 2:

Each match goes on for too long - ninety minutes too long in fact.

[Roger Kettle]

Well, that's just silly. What you're suggesting is that football shouldn't exist. That's a tad extreme.
Next.

[The Peepmaster]

Well I'm a bit down as Wolves have managed to concede an equalising goal with about the last kick of the match, so it's probably not the best time for me to have to answer the post of a deranged pilchard, who has about as much charisma as a jaundiced whelk with gout, and who's as popular on here as King Herod's "Baby-Sitting-Is-Us" business enterprise.

[Vulture]

Whilst I'm not overfond of football (rugby is much more interesting), I think Mince's aversion to everything he doesn't indulge in is downright anti-social. He needs to change his occupation - perhaps being a hermit would suit him.

[peter]

Whilst I'm not overfond of football (rugby is much more interesting), I think Mince's aversion to everything he doesn't indulge in is downright anti-social. He needs to change his occupation - perhaps being a hermit would suit him.

It would get him out more

[Roger Kettle]

I can't say I'm fond of rugby, Vulch. This probably stems from my introduction to the game. I was 12 years old, skinny and standing on a muddy field as a strange, egg-shaped ball dropped from the sky towards me. It was being pursued by 15 fat giants who decided it would be amusing to trample me underfoot en route to the aforesaid ball. Happily, three of the four teeth removed from my mouth were of the baby variety and my testicles eased their way back into a medically acceptable position within a couple of weeks.

[Mince]

Reason 3:

It has an "o" in the name -c.f. "golf", "snooker", "bowls" and "bloody darts".

"Tennis", of course, is fine.

[Roger Kettle]

Mince likes netball.

[Mince]

Mince likes netball.

Of course I do. They should make it a sport: it would be much better than football.

[Vulture]

Whilst I'm not overfond of football (rugby is much more interesting), I think Mince's aversion to everything he doesn't indulge in is downright anti-social. He needs to change his occupation - perhaps being a hermit would suit him.

It would get him out more

Do you mean it would get him out of your house more?

[peter]

any where would do

[Malc]

Netball is a bloody fast and hard sport, much better to watch than basketball, if it's played properly, as it is here in Australia.

When I arrived in Oz (1995) I was struck by two things:

(1) The speed and directness that Rugby League is played (by athletes built like light -heavyweight boxers, not the tubs of lard I was used to seeing in English Rugby League) They tackled head on, instead of waiting until the opponent ran past, attempting to pull him down like lioness with a wildebeest,  and they got up from being tackled with no perceivable injury.

(2) That netball IS a sport outside the school gym. The women who play are tall, fast and aggressive, and they whip that ball from one end to the other with lightning speed.
I actually have netball drills I use for my football team coaching. They teach the importance of being seen, getting into space, and the early pass..

[The Peepmaster]

I'm just typing this on the train north. Yes, the train has free wi-fi. Fab. I can post Mince vitriol whilst on the move. Just gone through Newcastle where I saw their footy ground, knowing they're playing a local derby against Sunderland as I type. Probably around 40000 potential Mince-haters in one stadium. Deep joy.