I know I'm new but...

[dslex...dislex...confused]

...I think you need another forum, for people who may not be quite so funny, or who think they are funny...but aren't...oh hang on...

Just kidding [the "oh hang on" bit], but seriously a boring forum has a lot to offer:

It will make all the other forums look and read even better [as if that were possible]
Accountants will think they can join in and post things
This posting wouldn't be in here

My name is confused and I used to be an accountant...it has been 1 year and 28 days since I last added two numbers together...

Nice place hope I fit in at some point, confused.

[Tom]

Hi Confused... welcome to the forum.

[The Peepmaster]

Welcome Dixie! I think you may be right. This forum must appear to so may as a bit of a cliquey lunatic asylum at times, that new blood feels alienated. I wan't you to know that new posters are always welcome, and that not everyone is mad on here. (I'm sure there was someone who posted in May 2005 who wasn't).

[dslex...dislex...confused]

Thank you both.  This is a scary place, so much good humour and so many "I wish I had said that" posts.  I shall persevere, keep taking the tablets, drift off muttering...

[Mince]

To become a real member you have to insult Peepmaster.

[Mince]

so much good humour

Thanks. I just wish the rest of the gang on here were as good.

[The Peepmaster]

You also have to have an appreciation of football, and the knack of using the roll-eyes smiley at the right time.

[Mince]

The other option is to hate football and like Doctor Who.

[dslex...dislex...confused]

Actually Mince you were more in the "scary" category... :-)

Football...waste of a good field...cow pat [or is that cowpat?] skimming would be more interesting, I wasn't going to follow Mince's advice but now...

[Mince]

Actually Mince you were more in the "scary" category... :-)

RULE 1: If you're going to throw a good insult, go for it. No more half-hearted panicky smileys at the end.

[Tom]

Mince, I'm confused.

Aren't you on holiday? And what's your avatar picture of? At first I thought it was a stopped version of that mind boggling triangle one you used to use.

[dslex...dislex...confused]

Damn you Moriarty...I'll work on the polite thing but in my defence I was smiling as I wrote it, but that was more at Peepmasters expense, I never heard of anyone from a smaller place than I live before, the Isle of Bute makes the Isle of Man seem like Manhattan...well on a really foggy day...and when you are three sheets to the wind...and if your imagination is either really really good or just weird.

[Mince]

And what's your avatar picture of? At first I thought it was a stopped version of that mind boggling triangle one you used to use.

Nope. Try again.

[Mince]

is either

You're going to have to change your name. You're going to confuse poor Roger.

[dslex...dislex...confused]

You might be right...besides which it's a killer to remember when signing in...my favourite line of yours so far, can't remember the post, something that included meeting the genius Roger Kettle, your line was something like "Hey Roger there's a genius with the same name as you"  Classic, almost poetry but more interesting.