If you want to see really bad football, splurge on an airplane flight to Brisbane and watch our local club Queensland Roar. Absolute sh*te. I could (and I'm not exaggerating) have played better myself.
In fact I could have played better BY myself.
I'm not sure, because I lost interest, but I think Roar lost 4-1. At half time, it's the custom for teams of seven year-olds to come on and play little games. I honestly wanted them back on. Compared to the main feature, watching the wee ones was like watching the Team Of The Century.
Craig Moore plays for Roar, and his EPL class was head and shoulders above the rest, yet he was on the losing side.
My wife and I were treated to tickets to the game by my ladies team, so I didn't want to complain too loudly, we got in for free, after all, but I had hoped to be able to point out excellent defensive strategies to them to demonstrate how the pros do it, but it wasn't to be.
On top of all this, I had a group of class A tools sitting behind me cracking "funnies" throughout the game. mostly aimed at a very fat and unfit-looking Mark Bosnich who was in goal for the opposition.
The transport system to the ground and out of it was truly brilliant. We were clear of the stadium within ten minutes on a free bus to our car in the suburbs. Aussies do that sort of stuff really well. What they don't do well is A League football.
Made me wish I was at Rugby Park.
