Author Topic: Questions for Mince  (Read 5850 times)

Offline The Peepmaster

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Questions for Mince
« on: September 23, 2008, 09:13:07 PM »
Mince has been one of the main helpers on this forum, and most of us appreciate that, of course.

He also gives the impression of being quite intelligent, and I've had the idea that we could maybe tap-into that reservoir of knowledge by posing questions that up until now have had us vexed.

Any questions for Mince?



Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟

Rob Baker

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2008, 10:15:35 PM »
Can you explain the off-side rule?

Vulture

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2008, 10:19:19 PM »
Can you explain the off-side rule?

If this is anything to do with football, expect a dignified silence (or a lot of swearing).

In fact, if it is any sport whatsoever - ditto -  (except tennis) - (or Michelle Pfeiffer!)

Jack

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2008, 10:44:55 PM »
I'm confused. Is Michelle Pfeiffer a sport now?

Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2008, 10:53:32 PM »
I'm confused. Is Michelle Pfeiffer a sport now?

That's a good question! Mince....?
Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟

Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2008, 11:04:46 PM »
Mince is lying low. We need something to arouse him. Could someone post some grammatical errors or something?
Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟

Vulture

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2008, 11:20:31 PM »
I'm confused. Is Michelle Pfeiffer a sport now?

Mince is under the delusion that Michelle Pfeiffer is stalking him!

Malc

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2008, 01:07:45 PM »
I can't get the song "Soldier, Soldier" out of my head.

Oh soldier, soldier, won't you marry me
With your musket, pfeiffer, drum?

Oh no, pretty maid, I cannot marry you,
For I have no coat to put on.

So off she went to her grandfathers chest
And she brought him a coat of the very very best...


Anyway, the pretty maid ends up responding to the soldier's constant whinging by placating him with other items obtained from her grandfather's chest until finally he devastates her with the news that he is, in fact, already married and is therefore not available.

A tenuous link with Michell Pfeiffer, I know.

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2008, 01:23:07 PM »
"Soldier, marry me and bring your musket!"
"I can't. I don't have a coat."
This is a truly great song.

Offline The Peepmaster

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2008, 07:00:23 PM »
Nice to have a maid. You'd think he could have sent her out to get him a coat though.
Nostalgia is not what it used to be. 😟

Offline Max

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2008, 10:00:26 PM »
Once upon a memory I was in the boys choir at Clydebank High School and the choir was to sing in the Glasgow festival of music.
The songs that year (you had to perform two) were.. the witch.... uh something, can't recall this at all.
However the other was along the lines of "Oh where have you been Billy boy Billy boy? Oh where have you been OH darling Billy?
The title may have had Billy in it.

Billy goes on to explain his new found love is "twice six, twice seven, twice twenty and eleven, she's a young thing and cannot leave her mother"
perhaps she could tie up with the soldier soldier dude with his musket.?

I only mention this because of brain worms, songs that get hooked in there and won't go away.

With Seattle Kate, a Scambell waded up to her in a warm Caribbean sea and sang the Mr Hankie the Christmas Poo song to her, knowing for the rest of the holiday it would be lodged into her brain........ and it was.......


However now things have changed, Scambell has a grand daughter of great beauty who lives on the Isle of Bute, said wee one is just past two years and has a love of "In the night garden".
Her grampa Scambell got her the Night Garden CD and played it for her all of last Saturday as he took her and the clan to Blair Drummond Safari park and wallet emptier.

Scambell has woken up in the last three days singing........  "Yes my name is Iggle Piggle, Iggle wiggle Piggle Iggle Piggle, yes my name is Iggle Piggle Iggle wiggle wiggle woo".

I have now taken to singing it in the office, initially the guys though it was funny, but now I believe there's a price on my head (10 shillings and 6 pence in this style).

My fear is now I can remember the Macka Packa song....... HELP!!!!!!!!!


For those of you who don't know of "In the night garden" think,  Tele tubbies writers, but this time on crack cocaine.  :-\



Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2008, 10:41:06 PM »
Mmmm....mmm...Billy, don't be a hero...don't be a fool with your li-i-ife........

Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your..............curse you, Max!......

And as Billy started to go-oh.........
I apologise, in advance.

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2008, 12:20:41 AM »
Max, regarding work and singing ? I suggest you pull a Kojack and take some lollipops to work until your current  Iggle wiggle Piggle Iggle Piggle phase is over.
People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2008, 12:22:20 AM »
Okay, I have a sensible question for Mince.
Several years ago we bought a cool Galileo thermometer. Over the years the inside liquid (I assume it?s water) has evaporated through the glass and is now down 2cm from it?s original level. Will the temperature bubbles that rise still be accurate?
People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Questions for Mince
« Reply #14 on: September 26, 2008, 12:26:39 AM »
Here's another question: How do you spell Kojack?
People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad