The New and Improved Christmas Competition for 2009

[Jack]

I was going to post something that could have won, but I used up my Christmas Competition Thinking Quota on my preparations for a Beau Peep themed Panto, with stage directions and all that malarky.

[Vulture]

Congrats, Tom. Brussel sprouts are my favourite vegetable, too!

[Tom]

And the winner is...

Tom!

Oh my goodness!

That wasn't expected, but thank you all the same! 

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Felicitations, Tom! I knew you had it in you, and with such a strong emphasis on sprouts, the scent of victory was nigh on inevitable.

[Mince]

Fix.

[Joan]

Yay! Well done Tom!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Fix.

There's always one bitter, twisted no-mark, isn't there? Usually it's me, but...

[Mince]

Bitter and twisted? I don't think so.

Three competitions I have entered so far and I have not won one of them. Well, duh, can no one see the pattern emerging here? Don't tell me it's coincidence. One perhaps. Even two I can dismiss. But three times no winning? Nope. Too much to be a coincidence. Don't think I don't know what's going on here. You're all in this together, trying to keep me down - yeah, let's all dump on the genius and agree not to let him win.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Or you might just be mince, Mince.

[Vulture]

Or you might just be mince, Mince.

Is 'mince' the new 'pants'? 

[Roger Kettle]

It's Scottish for "pants", Vulch.
Um... Mince, did you actually enter?

[Fyodor]

Well done Tom. I'm pickled pink for you.

[Tom]

Well done Tom. I'm pickled pink for you.

[Roger Kettle]

Tom, the originals and Scottish tenner have been wrapped and will be posted tomorrow. Obviously, at this time of year, things tend to move slowly so I'd appreciate it if you let me know when everything arrives. Congrats again!

[Tom]

  Thank you, Roger... I'll let you know as soon as they reach me!