Sketches

[Bilthehut]

I do believe I can add value to this masterpiece, Diane.

[Roger Kettle]

The smoke ruins it.

[Bilthehut]

I didn't say I was an artist.  And I was cold, so put the fire on.

[Vulture]

Diane, don't buy it. There are signs of subsidence; there's no gate, and where are the roses round the front door?

[Jack]

I put hours of work into that, and you've gone and ruined it with your unnecessary modifications!

I imagine this is how Roger feels whenever Andrew spontaneously feels the need to replace words in his script with other random and nonsensical words.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Yeah, perhaps, but I bet he can't draw three bunches of kids, carrying three banners saying "Team Chocolate", "Team Zyon" and "Team Ragee", with a referee in the middle, and a banner behind saying "Team Wars", and the kids challenging each other with pointed fingers.

Bet he can't do that.

In colour.

1600px by 400px preferably.

Bet you five hundred quid I can!

Prove it!

Prove what, Feather? Do you want to take on the bet? I'm happy to cover you both.

[Feather]

Prove you can do what Mince asked, Tarquin. 

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Oh, I think he already knows I can, Feather. That's why he hasn't touched the bet. But I'm happy to open the bet to you or anyone else if you want to take the gamble. I'll get my calculator...   (why isn't there an 'avariciously rubbing hands' smiley?)

[Mince]

Okay, then, Tarks, I bet you £500 that CAN'T do it! Stick that in your ... er, nope, that doesn't work either. Erm, I bet you £500 that you can't do it without me giving you £500, so er ... hang on.

I'll get back to you.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I'll get back to you.

Bet you don't.

[Mince]

I bet you one sketch as detailed above that I do.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Bet you've got a smug grin on your face. Bet it won't last. No.

[Diane CBPFC]

I think it's clear from this topic that Roger is both modest and something of a perfectionist, and won't publish something that he personally doesn't believe is of a high enough standard to warrant publishing, even though others may disagree.


Personally, I'd be be glad to have any old crap published if people were gullible enough to buy it and it made me a few quid.

Diane, would you like to buy my picture of a house?

That is a mighty fine piece of rustic folk art you have there Jack. I would offer you 5 GBP for it but I would just be taking advantage.

[Jack]

Diane, would you like to buy my picture of a house?

That is a mighty fine piece of rustic folk art you have there Jack. I would offer you 5 GBP for it but I would just be taking advantage.

SOLD!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

So, where was I? Oh, yes...

More deceptively simple but highly effective caricatures from Roger...