Narwhals versus Giant Octopuses.

[peter]

I was trying to weigh this up then is realised I did not know all the facts.
!) how old were they.
2) were they in training.
3)were either professional.
4) what size were they.
5) was a referee appointed to see there was no touching up.
6) was it to the death.
7) were tickets sold for the fight.
All these things make a difference to the out come of the engagement.

[Fyodor]

So they were engaged, were they? That's me back to square one.

[Malc]

The octopus would only stand a chance if he could get behind the narwhal unawares and squeeze him.
With the narwhal facing the octopus, the pointy bit (which is substantially long and strong), would be an ever-present threat.
If I was a narwhal, I would dummy the octopus to the left and switch right with lightning speed, running him through before his tentacles could grab me.

I have just spent five valuable minutes writing this in a Manchester library with the clock ticking down all the while.

[Roger Kettle]

And I'm very glad you did, Malc. It's about time someone took this seriously.

[peter]

And I'm very glad you did, Malc. It's about time someone took this seriously.

I thought my question were serious Roger.
You know the old saying a good little one what am I doing teaching my granny to suck eggs.

[The Peepmaster]

Boxing might be the answer. Norrie the Narwhal would still be working out how to put gloves on his fins, when Ollie would hit him with a left, then follow up with seven rights.

I've been thinking of giving names to these sea creatures.

So far I've come up with:

Norrie the Narwhal
Ollie the Octopus
Sandy the Sand Hopper
Sandy the Sand Eel
Sandy the Sand Diver
Sandy the Sand Shark
Stella the Starfish
Crabby the Crab
Lobby the Lobster

[Fyodor]

That's inspired, Peepie.

[Vulture]

Boxing might be the answer. Norrie the Narwhal would still be working out how to put gloves on his fins, when Ollie would hit him with a left, then follow up with seven rights.

I've been thinking of giving names to these sea creatures.

So far I've come up with:

Norrie the Narwhal
Ollie the Octopus
Sandy the Sand Hopper
Sandy the Sand Eel
Sandy the Sand Diver
Sandy the Sand Shark
Stella the Starfish
Crabby the Crab
Lobby the Lobster

 

[peter]

Boxing might be the answer. Norrie the Narwhal would still be working out how to put gloves on his fins, when Ollie would hit him with a left, then follow up with seven rights.

I've been thinking of giving names to these sea creatures.

So far I've come up with:

Norrie the Narwhal
Ollie the Octopus
Sandy the Sand Hopper
Sandy the Sand Eel
Sandy the Sand Diver
Sandy the Sand Shark
Stella the Starfish
Crabby the Crab
Lobby the Lobster

Dont mention Sandy. You will be mobbed

[The Peepmaster]

I had to go out hurriedly so didn't finish my list.

Planky the Plankton
Mac the Mackerel
John the John Dory
Sally the Salmon
Clammy the Clam
Elvis the Elver
Carol the Coral
Deborah the Whelk

[peter]

Like Roger I will act as the straight man.
Why Deborah the Whelk.

[The Peepmaster]

Like Roger I will act as the straight man.
Why Deborah the Whelk.

It was a female whelk, of course.  :

[peter]

Like Roger I will act as the straight man.
Why Deborah the Whelk.

It was a female whelk, of course.  :

I know but why not Wendy or Wanda but Deborah she should be the dolphin.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Peter, the secret of a good straight man is knowing when to stop the gag.  :

[Mince]

I had to go out hurriedly so didn't finish my list.

Could you go out more often?