The Christmas Competition.

[Mince]

It's great to teach what is good about this poem to kids.

[The Peepmaster]

It's great to teach what is good about this poem to kids.

Well you bugger off and do that then, and we'll see you when you get back. 

[Mince]

You're just miffed because the poem is better than your lavatory-wall doggerel.

[peter]

see jokes

[Mince]

Now, did he spell that incorrectly and mean to say "Sea jokes.?

[Diane CBPFC]

It worries me that Mince is the Fagan to young cyber students ? if there is a rash of snowman heists in the UK this winter we will know who to turn over to the police.

[The Peepmaster]

Now, did he spell that incorrectly and mean to say "Sea jokes.?

No, "See Jakes" - (he's the Headmaster).

[peter]

It worries me that Mince is the Fagan to young cyber students ? if there is a rash of snowman heists in the UK this winter we will know who to turn over to the police.

We will be lucky if we get enough snow to make a snowball.

[Malc]

Or a snowman's balls.

[Fyodor]

This is not a poem;
"Hark!" the herald angels will not sing -
Evangelism's not their bag.

Wonders, waiting,
Itching for performance,
Nestle in the ways of mystery.
Now from distant Orient
Epiphanies progress.

REJOICE!

[Vulture]

This is not a poem;
"Hark!" the herald angels will not sing -
Evangelism's not their bag.

Wonders, waiting,
Itching for performance,
Nestle in the ways of mystery.
Now from distant Orient
Epiphanies progress.

REJOICE!

What's coffee got to do with all this?

[peter]

As you did not like my last poem about dogs let nobody complain that this is not a poem.

I wish someone could tell me
What it is that I've done wrong
Why I have to stay chained up
And left alone so long.

They seemed so glad to have me
When I came here as a pup
There were so many things we'd do
While I was growing up.

They couldn't wait to train me
As companion and as friend
They told me they would never fear
Being left alone again.

The children said they'd feed me
Said they'd brush me every day
They'd play with me and walk me
If only I could stay.

But now the family hasn't time
They often say I shed
They wont allow me in the house
Not even to be fed.

The children never walk me
They always say "Not Now".
I wish that I could please them
Won't someone tell me how.

All I have is love, you see.
I wish they would explain.
Why they said they wanted me
Then left me on a chain.

Now that is a poem so there.

[peter]

I know I wont win with Mince being judge
It would be claimed nepotism
But I should win something for the number of entries I have given.
Its not the winning its the taking part.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

As you did not like my last poem about dogs let nobody complain that this is not a poem.

I wish someone could tell me
What it is that I've done wrong
Why I have to stay chained up
And left alone so long.

They seemed so glad to have me
When I came here as a pup
There were so many things we'd do
While I was growing up.

They couldn't wait to train me
As companion and as friend
They told me they would never fear
Being left alone again.

The children said they'd feed me
Said they'd brush me every day
They'd play with me and walk me
If only I could stay.

But now the family hasn't time
They often say I shed
They wont allow me in the house
Not even to be fed.

The children never walk me
They always say "Not Now".
I wish that I could please them
Won't someone tell me how.

All I have is love, you see.
I wish they would explain.
Why they said they wanted me
Then left me on a chain.

Now that is a poem so there.

Bring a tear to a glass eye, that would. But who is IWWATWTWTATBTSTIBTTNTTIWAIWT? I must have missed that week.

[The Peepmaster]

If I thought for a minute that that actually was one of your poems, you might stand a chance!