I am sure we have done this before, so either Roger is going senile or I am.
Roger, just change your name to Rogerkins Poo Face and have done with it.
Who says we're disqualified, Diane? I hope you're not suggesting that, as a judge, I would be anything but the very essence of impartiality when it comes to choosing my winning entry?
Okay, okay, I made a mistake. (It's like that line from the movie "The Big Bus"----"You eat one lousy foot and people call you a cannibal").
You have to write a poem. The first letter of each line has to spell out the name of a character from the strip. For example, the first line starts with "e", the second with "g", the third with"o" and so on.
The competition runs till the end of the month and prizes will be as before. I don't know who will judge it yet.
I'm too upset to think about it at the moment.
Roger I cannot spell
Oh the shame
Got to learn well
Easy peasy. Fame
Right give me the prize
Roger I cannot spell
Oh the shame
Got to learn well
Easy peasy. Fame
Right give me the prize
No contest. The prize is yours, Peter.
Why do I get the feeling that what's about to unravel will make 'Jeux Sans Fronti?res' look like a genteel game of chess?
Try as I might to win
Really hard to find
A rhyme that a line
Queer comes to mind
Unlike quinine.
I am trying to find
No rhyme for Tarquin
Try as I might to win
Really hard to find
A rhyme that a line
Queer comes to mind
Unlike quinine.
I am trying to find
No rhyme for Tarquin
Is TRAQUIN in Beau Peep?
Is TRAQUIN in Beau Peep?
I'm going to feel a little uncomfortable making my acceptance speech when ordinary members of the forum are still trying to bodge something together. :-\
Well I'm glad this got sorted before I looked through my disks for my first answers to this question. Although I didn't win that time, I had high hopes for them this time now that half of the people who post here are either moderators, related to moderators, related to the cartoonist or mince and therefore disqualified.
Any half-decent effort is in with a chance.
Okay, okay, I made a mistake. (It's like that line from the movie "The Big Bus"----"You eat one lousy foot and people call you a cannibal").
You have to write a poem. The first letter of each line has to spell out the name of a character from the strip. For example, the first line starts with "e", the second with "g", the third with"o" and so on.
The competition runs till the end of the month and prizes will be as before. I don't know who will judge it yet.
I'm too upset to think about it at the moment.
Peter's already favourite.
I like his idea of not using a Beau Peep character, mis-spelling "Tarquin" and not doing a poem.
Well, if I don't win, I'm going to throw one of Malc's "Helen Keller" wobblers.
So much for camels
Only one do I know
Perhaps he gives you flannel
With the spiting though
I
Think he has the
Hump
E who
Gives
Out prizes
Roger
E who
Gives
Out prizes
Roger
Who's Egor?
E who
Gives
Out prizes
Roger
Who's Egor?
To Whom It May Concern:
Please excuse Diane CBPFC from the 2007 Beau Peep Annual Christmas competition. I have examined her and found her brain to be empty. I must thank you for causing the racking of the brains however, as this has brought much relief to her earwax situation.
Dr. Bob
I must thank you for causing the racking of the brains
Not bard. Not bard at all, Peepsie.End of the month, Tarks. I must say this is all warming up nicely.
When's the closing date for entries? I might just rattle one off myself if I've got a minute.
QuoteI must thank you for causing the racking of the brains
Do you have so many brains that you have to put them in racks?
Turning to the hat-stand
He solemnly declares,
"Everything you've said is right -
Coats should be on chairs.
Only caps and kepis,
Little bonnets too,
Ought to have the right to hang
Naughtily from you".
Ending with this lecture to the soldiers gathered round:
"Look out for nude Turags - they're all mentally unsound"!
I await with baited breath for the second verse - Escargot
Pete wasn't actually serious, Peepmaster.
I've got an absolutely filthy poem, based on a dirty joke someone told me. It's got nothing to do with Christmas or any Beau Peep character, will that do?
Blimey!
Everyone's
Attempt's
Unbelievable!
;D ;D ;D Very, very nice tries, Peepsie, but I reckon my plagiarism, nay theft, of Hamlet's soliloquies is a shoo-in.
Peter, when the assorted dictionaries we're all sending you for Christmas arrive, perhaps you'd like to look up the definition of the word 'competition'.
;D ;D ;D Very, very nice tries, Peepsie, but I reckon my plagiarism, nay theft, of Hamlet's soliloquies is a shoo-in.
Peter, when the assorted dictionaries we're all sending you for Christmas arrive, perhaps you'd like to look up the definition of the word 'competition'.
Does
Everybody
Notice
Number
Insertions
Submited
Who Is not under H
Who Is not under H
That has to be the most mind-blowing sentence you've ever contributed to this forum, Peter. Congratulations!
Competition;- to compete against 'one' another.
But not against all of you
Peter, I think the idea is you have to at least an attempt at a poetic element here
Peter, I think the idea is you have to at least an attempt at a poetic element here
One-word lines can be poetic. The best definition of poetry I have read is "writing that does not quite reach the right margin".
Peter, I think the idea is you have to at least attempt to include a poetic element here, not just a sentence with each word's first letter spelling out the name.
You're welcome (this'll be a cakewalk!).
Portrays
Eloquence
Through
Extraordinary
Rhetoric
Portrays
Eloquence
Through
Extraordinary
Rhetoric
Thanks Peeps you are so 'nice'
Bet you are over the moon with your new Football Club
But it is a funny old game
When 30,000 people pick the Team
It is early doors
But you could be sick as a parrot
Portrays
Eloquence
Through
Extraordinary
Rhetoric
Thanks Peeps you are so 'nice'
Bet you are over the moon with your new Football Club
But it is a funny old game
When 30,000 people pick the Team
It is early doors
But you could be sick as a parrot
Brilliant! Is that supposed to be Tranmere?
One-word lines can be poetic.
There has been some truly terrific stuff already and this is going to be a nightmare to judge. I'll announce who the judge is soon...
Do I enter, I don't know.
Oh what the hell, I'll give it a go.
Required subject, someone's name.
I think I'm getting good at this game.
So here's my entry, I hope it rhymes.
And if it doesn't, there'll be other times.
No one said it had to be good.
"Do you think Peter understood"?
Before I finish, I must just say
Everyone's efforts have made my day.
At best the entrys have been so revealing.
Utmost respect, now where's my Darjeeling?
;D
I'll announce who the judge is soon...
not bloody likely your just to hard to please
you will want syntacks, carpet tacks and stop full and doorstop and other unspelt things
Do I enter, I don't know.
Oh what the hell, I'll give it a go.
Required subject, someone's name.
I think I'm getting good at this game.
So here's my entry, I hope it rhymes.
And if it doesn't, there'll be other times.
No one said it had to be good.
"Do you think Peter understood"?
Before I finish, I must just say
Everyone's efforts have made my day.
At best the entrys have been so revealing.
Utmost respect, now where's my Darjeeling?
;D
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Does that mean that if your the judge your gonna pick me? ;D
HERE COME DA JUDGE! I want to chicken out and nominate Persnickety.I'll announce who the judge is soon...
Pick me! Pick me!
HERE COME DA JUDGE! I want to chicken out and nominate Persnickety.I'll announce who the judge is soon...
Pick me! Pick me!
HERE COME DA JUDGE! I want to chicken out and nominate Persnickety.I'll announce who the judge is soon...
Pick me! Pick me!
HERE COME DA JUDGE! I want to chicken out and nominate Persnickety.I'll announce who the judge is soon...
Pick me! Pick me!
I give up NOW >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
HERE COME DA JUDGE! I want to chicken out and nominate Persnickety.I'll announce who the judge is soon...
Pick me! Pick me!
I give up NOW >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Dummy, spit, pram. ;D
HERE COME DA JUDGE! I want to chicken out and nominate Persnickety.I'll announce who the judge is soon...
Pick me! Pick me!
I give up NOW >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Dummy, spit, pram. ;D
Can't have children judging father.
I will come last regardless of the work done.
If your child judged you were do you think you would come Colin.
Be honest.
HERE COME DA JUDGE! I want to chicken out and nominate Persnickety.I'll announce who the judge is soon...
Pick me! Pick me!
I give up NOW >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Dummy, spit, pram. ;D
Can't have children judging father.
I will come last regardless of the work done.
If your child judged you were do you think you would come Colin.
Be honest.
Roger, I think we're going to need for each entry marks out of ten for humour, flair, style, uniqueness, absurdity, comic timing, sticking to the rules, individuality, artistry, and total bribe.
sniff....I get so emotional when it's competition time, knowing my entry/ies is/are barred. Thanks a bunch, Diane, for actually putting that in black and white...sob
I'd be really surprised Peter.
I don't have any kids.
Really surprised indeed.
Don't be silly. No way you'll come last because it's your son judging it.
There are loads of other ways you'll qualify.
How?
The work I have put into this, the mistakes I have made, they must surely count for more than last place even if you were judging it.
I'd be really surprised Peter.
I don't have any kids.
Really surprised indeed.
Now you are trying to evade the question, your just splitting hairs. Be a man and answer.
I would have died that day if not for you.
I would've given up on life if not for your kind eyes.
I would have used my teeth in fear if not for your gentle hands.
I would have left this life believing that all humans don't care.
Believing there is no such thing as fur that is not matted.
Skin that isn't flea bitten.
Good food and enough of it.
Beds to sleep on.
Someone to love me.
To show me I deserve love just because I exist.
Your kind hear eyes, your loving smile, your gentle hands.
Your big heart saved me.
You saved me from the pound.
Soothing away the memories of my sad life.
You have taught me what it means to be loved.
I have heard you ask yourself why you do it. ;)
The Dogs are the reason.
This has no names in it but it is a poem
Go on, Colin. Write me an essay on it.
I gave up being a pupil years ago ;D and you haven't offered a prize.
I gave up being a pupil years ago ;D and you haven't offered a prize.
You're no fun.
I gave up being a pupil years ago ;D and you haven't offered a prize.
You're no fun.
Persnickety has turned into House. ::)
No, it's not a poem.Well, that's a nice, cheery Christmas number.
This is a poem. (It's not by me and not an entry for the Christmas competition.)
Stealing
The most unusual thing I ever stole? A snowman.
Midnight. He looked magnificent; a tall, white mute
beneath the winter moon. I wanted him, a mate
with a mind as cold as the slice of ice
within my own brain. I started with the head.
Better off dead than giving in, not taking
what you want. He weighed a ton; his torso,
frozen stiff, hugged to my chest, a fierce chill
piercing my gut. Part of the thrill was knowing
that children would cry in the morning. Life's tough.
Sometimes I steal things I don't need. I joy-ride cars
to nowhere, break into houses just to have a look.
I'm a mucky ghost, leave a mess, maybe pinch a camera.
I watch my gloved hand twisting the doorknob.
A stranger's bedroom. Mirrors. I sigh like this - Aah.
It took some time. Reassembled in the yard,
he didn't look the same. I took a run
and booted him. Again. Again. My breath ripped out
in rags. It seems daft now. Then I was standing
alone amongst lumps of snow, sick of the world.
Boredom. Mostly I'm so bored I could eat myself.
One time, I stole a guitar and thought I might
learn to play. I nicked a bust of Shakespeare once,
flogged it, but the snowman was strangest.
You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?
It's great to teach what is good about this poem to kids.
Now, did he spell that incorrectly and mean to say "Sea jokes.?
It worries me that Mince is the Fagan to young cyber students ? if there is a rash of snowman heists in the UK this winter we will know who to turn over to the police.
This is not a poem;
"Hark!" the herald angels will not sing -
Evangelism's not their bag.
Wonders, waiting,
Itching for performance,
Nestle in the ways of mystery.
Now from distant Orient
Epiphanies progress.
REJOICE!
As you did not like my last poem about dogs let nobody complain that this is not a poem.
I wish someone could tell me
What it is that I've done wrong
Why I have to stay chained up
And left alone so long.
They seemed so glad to have me
When I came here as a pup
There were so many things we'd do
While I was growing up.
They couldn't wait to train me
As companion and as friend
They told me they would never fear
Being left alone again.
The children said they'd feed me
Said they'd brush me every day
They'd play with me and walk me
If only I could stay.
But now the family hasn't time
They often say I shed
They wont allow me in the house
Not even to be fed.
The children never walk me
They always say "Not Now".
I wish that I could please them
Won't someone tell me how.
All I have is love, you see.
I wish they would explain.
Why they said they wanted me
Then left me on a chain.
Now that is a poem so there.
If I thought for a minute that that actually was one of your poems, you might stand a chance!
one at least of my tries at poetry were all my own work.
whether it will be considered in the competition we will wait and wonder.
willing with wondrous wisdom whether we win.
Soon be time to judge this so who's volunteering? Mince? Tarks?
When god had made the earth the sky
the flowers and the trees,
he then made all the animals the birds and bees
and when his work was finished
not one was quite the same.
He said "Ill walk this earth of mine
and give each one a name:,
and so he travelled land and sea
and everwhere he went;
a little creature followed him,
until strength was spent.
When all were named upon the earth,
and inthe sky and sea,
the tiny creature said,
"Dear Lord there's not one left for me."
The father smiled and softly said,
Iv'e left you to the end,
Ive turned myown name back to front
and call you DOG my friend".
I think we should have a competition solely for Peter. One that only Peter can enter, to which everyone else is excluded. We should call it "The Peter, and nobody else allowed" competition. Also, he should be able to submit unlimited entries.
It would be interesting to see how he got on.
I think we should have a competition solely for Peter. One that only Peter can enter, to which everyone else is excluded. We should call it "The Peter, and nobody else allowed" competition. Also, he should be able to submit unlimited entries.
It would be interesting to see how he got on.
I don't think he would win.
Are we talking possibility here or likelihood?
Soon be time to judge this so who's volunteering? Mince? Tarks?
Cool! I'll even make myself exempt from the competition, to indicate that the decision might actually be a fair one.
I may need a Day Of Deliberation, Contemplation and Meditation in order to do this properly, so the winner will probably be crowned on Sunday.
The judges decision will be final
Judge Tarquin T. Thunderthighs III
Bit of a long way for the winner to travel, isn't it?
Oops!
Well, I may have to stop overnight...
I'm not one of your friggin' students, and I'm not doing a friggin' essay. You're obviously a very worried man.
It'll be the one I like best. End of!
I'm not one of your friggin' students, and I'm not doing a friggin' essay. You're obviously a very worried man.
It'll be the one I like best. End of!
Why not let "A Woman" judge it? (Give her a break from the ironing).
I'm not one of your friggin' students, and I'm not doing a friggin' essay.
I'm not one of your friggin' students, and I'm not doing a friggin' essay.
Peepmaster, I think that's now 4-2 to me.
That email rubbish doesn't count. It's still 3-2 at best, you overgrown fanny.
Tranquillity base calling all boys to get on
Shall we have an official presentation? Maybe at a Working Men's Club in Dundee, or something. Be sure to have it on a day when I'm free.
I didn't know you charged, darling.
One boom, closely followed by another.
I'm not one of your friggin' students, and I'm not doing a friggin' essay.
Peepmaster, I think that's now 4-2 to me.
That email rubbish doesn't count. It's still 3-2 at best, you overgrown fanny.
"A Woman" is a rare contributor to another forum where we play, Vulch. She belongs to Tranquil, who occasionally allows her a break from household duties to join in with threads.
I hate these domestics.
I hate these domestics.
I hate these domestics.
. . . and all the arguments they have.
Hello Mincey.... Tarq's spoken of you often!
Hello Mincey.... Tarq's spoken of you often!
Firstly - I Do not, nor have I ever BELONG to Tarq's. Fact , I belong to no one, my ex hubby thought he 'owned' me.... I left him!
And a very big one.Hello Mincey.... Tarq's spoken of you often!
Hi to you, too.Firstly - I Do not, nor have I ever BELONG to Tarq's. Fact , I belong to no one, my ex hubby thought he 'owned' me.... I left him!
. . . do not belong, nor have I ever BELONGED, to . . .
Tarquin made me do it.
And a very big one.Hello Mincey.... Tarq's spoken of you often!
Hi to you, too.Firstly - I Do not, nor have I ever BELONG to Tarq's. Fact , I belong to no one, my ex hubby thought he 'owned' me.... I left him!
. . . do not belong, nor have I ever BELONGED, to . . .
Tarquin made me do it.
:-*
Still warning you, Mincey - resist!
Calm before the storm...
No, honestly*, Tarks sent me a private message saying: "Pick out the mistakes in her English for me." He set up me up.
(*I am using this in the broadest possible sense of the word.)
I'm getting to like these spaced-out after comments. I might use them more.
I'll have to give him a good feathering down later!
You don't? :)
Do you just throw pencils and paper in there and shout "Draw!"?
I will have to tell my students his predicament. Perhaps they can keep him sane during his long and lonely hours in there.
Is the cage in the cellar?
His sanity alas went walkies along time ago.
What about your cage, Mince? Is it cold in there?
I'll have to give him a good feathering down later!
Do you just hand him the food or does he have to do tricks to get it?
I'll have to give him a good feathering down later!
??? This is a new one on me, AW. Can you please explain?
Do you just hand him the food or does he have to do tricks to get it?
I know what you look like, mate!
He set up me up.
He set up me up.
He set up me up. What part of the english language does this come from?
For a English tutor. D-
See me after school Dad.
I am a rock.
I've built walls, a fortress deep and mighty.
I've built walls, a fortress deep and mighty.
A rock feels no pain.
And an island never cries.
The judges decision will be final, and no correspondence shall be entered into (that means no begging letters, Peter).
Judge Tarquin T. Thunderthighs III
Yes, I did submit an entry, but it'll no doubt be disqualified on some spurious grounds or other. I bet it's because it bore no relationship to the entry criteria or something. I'm sick of my genius being suppressed by jealous adjudicators.
Er...Hello, darkness, my old friend!
Do do do do do do do do do. And here's to you....
its nice to see s & g fans
its nice to see s & g fans
I've never seen the point of kinky sex.
its nice to see s & g fans
I've never seen the point of kinky sex.
Your too predicable although I did think it would be Tarks who would say it.
its nice to see s & g fans
I've never seen the point of kinky sex.
Your too predicable although I did think it would be Tarks who would say it.
Tarks is probably tied up at the moment.
This is so exciting...the day we get to know who won the Christmas competition! I can hardly contain myself.
This is so exciting...the day we get to know who won the Christmas competition! I can hardly contain myself.
That's it then - bags it's me and Peter.
Sorry, everyone else.