Happy Birthday to.....

[Colin]

Tarks.

Happy Birthday ya auld sod. 

[The Peepmaster]

I'm not saying it twice. 

[peter]

Birthdays are but landmarks on the journey of life.
How big is for the journeyman to find out.
Some out shine others but others are passed without a mark.

[Mince]

Is it your birthday, Tarky-Babe?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

You're all too kind! Peter, that had me in tears - I dropped the laptop on my foot. You all know how to make a happy man feel very old.

Is it your birthday, Tarky-Babe?

No.

[Mince]

Are you in denial again?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

yes. 

[Diane CBPFC]

Sorry this greeting is late - I was busy blowing up your balloon.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Diane, that is magnificent! Thank you so much. It's enormous - you must have had Mince talking into it for hours in order to get it off the ground.

[The Peepmaster]

Diane, that is magnificent! Thank you so much. It's enormous - you must have had Mince talking into it for hours in order to get it off the ground.

Don't exaggerate - "hours" indeed!

[Mince]

Have you two quite finished!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Have you two quite finished!

Isn't that a question?

[Roger Kettle]

Happy Birthday, pal! Hope you've had a great day and that the celebrations go on into the wee small hours. Have a nap first.

[Mince]

Have you two quite finished!

Isn't that a question?

No. It's rhetorical, so it's a statement. It means "*@#$ off!"

[The Peepmaster]

Have you two quite finished!

Isn't that a question?

No. It's rhetorical, so it's a statement. It means "*@#$ off!"

You make these rules up as you go along, don't you, Mince?  :