Return of the Christmas competition.

[Redundant]

Thanks, Red. You might have took the keys out of your pocket first, though.   

What pockets?

[Redundant]

Aaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!   Now that might be an an explosion of raw emotion on receiving a brilliant prize in the post...or it might be an explosion of raw emotion on discovering some git of a postman clearly removed the fifty grand before delivery...

On the other hand, my wife was giving me a strange look when I showed her my prize.   This either means that I am in for a little "extra prezzie" [glass half full scenario] or I'm on my way to the dog-house [glass half empty scenario].   My Guess?   Woof woof.

In case you hadn't figured it out, I received my prize today, and am delighted.   It was well worth telling my sponsor at Gamblers Anonymous [Eric Brown, 28 Woodside Terrace, Douglas, Isle of Man] that I had lapsed.  Thank you very much Roger, and thank you all for your kind comments.   Of course no writer works completely alone so I'd like to thank my sponsors, The Plagiarist Society.

[Mince]

Another year. Another competition. Another nothing.

[Roger Kettle]

Glad your prize arrived safely, Red.

And Mince---surely "Nappy-changer of the Year" was enough?

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

We could always start a "Bad Loser of the Decade" competition?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

  I think that may be more of a lifetime achievement award.

[Mince]

We could always start a "Bad Loser of the Decade" competition?

I'd probably lose that competition as well.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Don't be so hard on yourself - I'm sure you'd do really well.