Favourite Quotes.

[Roger Kettle]

I'm reading a book just now by Jeremy Vine, in which he mentions a quote by another correspondent. "Goverments are like nappies---they need changing regularly and for the same reasons". Class.
I've mentioned before that one of my favourite quotes is Woody Allen's "If it wasn't for airport searches, I wouldn't have a sex life at all".
Time for a few more. Take it away....

[Bilthehut]

My favourite, especially relevant when hearing politicians spouting forth, concerns statistics.

Statistics are like bikinis.  What they reveal is enticing, but what they conceal is vital.

Ta-dah!

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

The Groucho Marx line "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member" always makes me grin.     See !

[Rob Baker]

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life.   [George Best]

[Rob Baker]

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet, sweet beer  [Homer Simpson]

[Rob Baker]

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.  [Henry Youngman]

[Rob Baker]

.....I'm reading a book just now.....

I've always wondered about this Scottish 'just now' phrase.

In England (or at least in the town where I was brung up) we would say something like 'I ate an apple* just now', meaning 'I ate an apple within the last 5 minutes or so'.  In other words, something that happened in the recent past.   I think the Scottish 'just now' means, actually, (to non Scots) 'at the moment'.

Language/dialect is fascinating.

[* Of course, if you don't like apples, substitute this phrase with banana. Or current bun. Or anything, really -- it doesn't really affect the sentiment of the question].

Mince, I believe you're a teacher, what do you think?

[Mince]

I'm having trouble enough with Sandy at the moment. You can sort out Roger.

[Diamond Lil]

As a literary critic....
"This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly.  It should be thrown with great force."   The great Dorothy Parker.

[Bilthehut]

As a literary critic....
"This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly.  It should be thrown with great force."   The great Dorothy Parker.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I'm having trouble enough with Sandy at the moment. You can sort out Roger.

Mince, several hours ago.

My new favourite quote.

 

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Forgot about this one.

"Ouch !"   (King Harold, 1066).

[Max]

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic and so am I.

Bill Murray

[Max]

The National Rifle Association says, ‘Guns don’t kill people. People do’. But I think the gun helps.


Eddie Izzard

[Egg]

From the Diary of Anne Frank:

Day 1 - Hid!

Day 2 - Hid!