Damn! It's that time of year again.

[Malc]

...and here:

[Roger Kettle]

Loved 'em, Malc.

[Mince]

I just want to add my competition entry.

Hang on a sec......



There you go.

(opens the windows)

[Mince]

Firstly, I think Malc failed to read the competition instructions.

So let's get down to judging the competition.

My moment of brussel-sprout induced flatulence, stunningly erudite and groundbreaking though it was, paled in comparison to Egg's entry, which at least had some decent graphics, which itself was not as good as Diane's entry, which had Roger with a brussel sprout in his pocket. But the winner by a mile is Buttcheeks, who surpassed all expectations, especially for rhyming chant with sergeant.

So Sandy Buttcheeks is the winner.


(Remember you promised me half the winnings!)

[Roger Kettle]

Well done, Sandy!
Send me a private message with your name and address and I'll get your prize off as soon as possible.

[Diane CBPFC]

I would like to congratulate Sandy Buttcheeks; I hope that one day I will be able to do so, one day, when the bitter pain of disappointment subsides to a level when my heart doesn’t feel like a trampled on thing lying in the gutter of broken dreams, the resting place of failed poets and minstrels.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Thank you one and all. I don't know what to say since I've never won anything before, and don't expect to ever again.  If it's any consolation Diane, you could always keep hold of that bitter pain of disappointment and quite easily turn it into hatred of me...it's what I would do.   

[Diane CBPFC]

I don't have the energy to drum up hatred for you Sandy Buttcheeks - well not the quality of hatred that you so rightly deserve anyway.

In the meantime I am working on next year's competition entry - a life size Beau Peep wax figure - saving up my candle drippings now.

[Mince]

Diane, for reasons best left unknown, can you confirm that out of all the people on ButNot, at this very moment at least, you despise Sandy Buttcheeks the most?

[Vulture]

Diane, for reasons best left unknown, can you confirm that out of all the people on ButNot, at this very moment at least, you despise Sandy Buttcheeks the most?

Mince just wants a temporary respite from being the 'most hated' on Beau Peep. I'm not sure about the ButNot forum!

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I don't have the energy to drum up hatred for you Sandy Buttcheeks - well not the quality of hatred that you so rightly deserve anyway.

In the meantime I am working on next year's competition entry - a life size Beau Peep wax figure - saving up my candle drippings now.

I could send some earwax if it gets near to the end of the year and you're still short of a nose or a chin or something.   

[The Peepmaster]

Diane, for reasons best left unknown, can you confirm that out of all the people on ButNot, at this very moment at least, you despise Sandy Buttcheeks the most?

Mince just wants a temporary respite from being the 'most hated' on Beau Peep. I'm not sure about the ButNot forum!

Can we assume that Mince is the person most hated, by Diane, on this forum?

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Diane, for reasons best left unknown, can you confirm that out of all the people on ButNot, at this very moment at least, you despise Sandy Buttcheeks the most?

Mince just wants a temporary respite from being the 'most hated' on Beau Peep. I'm not sure about the ButNot forum!

Can we assume that Mince is the person most hated, by Diane, on this forum?

Absolutely not. Unless, as one of the newbies, she confirms it to me personally, quoting this post. If Diane can drum up the energy to reply, she can drum up the energy required to hate me more.

[Mince]

I don't care who she hates provided she tells me first.

[Diane CBPFC]

There is an “Anger Management” course advertised in the paper. I have been too lazy to go around hating people of late but this course sounds like it might be just the thing to inspire hatred and perk me up.