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[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Rather witty.

Where is the real Mince, and what has this new impostor done with him?

 

[Mince]

I REALLY hope there's a response to that!

Sadly, no. But I bet we won't be getting unsolicited email from them again.

[Redundant]

It was a lovely run though Mince, the grains of sand...priceless

[Mince]

I wonder what finally made her twig.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Do you have any idea how long a feasibility study on a request like that takes? Give the poor woman a chance, for goodness sake.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I wonder what finally made her twig.

A tree?

[Mince]

Damn! I should have sent that.

Dear Jenny, can you make me a mold of a tree, as this might make you twig.

[Mince]

Hello Mince,

Good morning, sorry for the late reply, but we just return to office due to the National Day.

As to below figure length, height and thickness mentioned, please offer clear size, for example, how many inchs or mm is the figure's length, height and thickness?

So is the sand particles, please offer clear inchs...

More feedback would be much appreciated.

Thanks & Best Regards

Jenny Qiu

International Sales

================================================

Hi Jenny

When you did not reply, I should have realised you were celebrating your National Day and the Golden Week of holiday that goes with it. I hope you had the time to relax and perhaps visit relatives. I am a little embarrassed at not researching your culture more beforehand, especially since I am sure you researched the people at cameldung before sending your initial email to contact@cameldung.co.uk.

For the sand particles, if we use the Krumbein phi scale for medium sand (0.25mm to 0.5mm), and for simplicity opt for perfectly cubic particles, and at 1:200 scale, we're looking for sand particles with sides of 0.000049 inches. As for quantities, let's begin with an oasis and work up from there.

Thank you for asking "how many inches" regarding the Beau Peep figure, but seriously we don't need the figure to be that detailed. And I'm sure Roger wouldn't know the answer anyway: he doesn't even have a proper layout for the fort, so asking for this kind of detail is just going to result in disappointment, and by that I'm not referring to 'how many inches'. Having said that, Doris has spent years trying to win him back, so perhaps the figure might not be so disappointing after all. And that brings up another point. If you do a figure for Doris, it has to be always out-of-view, heard but not seen, so your 'clear size' might be just what we are looking for.

As for thickness, I'm sure you have two short planks lying around to use as a reference. If not, perhaps a re-evaluation of your understanding of our emails might offer some insight.

Mince

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

"The Krumbein phi scale"? I Googled that. It's an actual thing. You're a proper b@st@rd, Mincey - you know that. You've probably ruined her Golden Week.

Shame on me for laughing... 

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

So is there a Krumbein fee, fo and fum scale too?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

That'll be phee, pho and phum, Shirley?

[Mince]

That'll be phee, pho and phum, Shirley?

Oh, so you know Sandy's real name?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Shirley Buttcheeks. I thought it was common knowledge.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

That'll be phee, pho and phum, Shirley?

Nope, I was using metric units.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Shirley Buttcheeks. I thought it was common knowledge.

It's true. What can I say? My mother was a big wrestling fan.

Easy, easy, easy.