Terracotta Army

[The Peepmaster]

I've just been watching this on TV. China has lent some of those amazing artifacts to the British Museum. The army was created to guard the first Emperor from evil spirits after his death. Just the name Terracotta Army inspires admiration and awe.





I'd be lucky to get a pottery bodyguard.

[Roger Kettle]

Or a plastic nightwatchman.

[The Peepmaster]

Maybe a polystyrene babysitter. 

[Tom]

Is that like a chocolate fireguard?

[The Peepmaster]

I expect the Chinese are sitting there back home now imagining that these magnificent archaeological finds that they've loaned to our principal museum are stimulating intellectual debate on forums across the UK...  :

[Roger Kettle]

I'm off to watch that thing about comics on B.B.C. Four so I'm deserting the Teracotta Army for a while.

[Vulture]

I expect the Chinese are sitting there back home now imagining that these magnificent archaeological finds that they've loaned to our principal museum are stimulating intellectual debate on forums across the UK...  :

No, Peepmaster. The Chinese are rubbing their hands with glee; do you know how much it's costing the British to 'borrow' this 'ere army?

[The Peepmaster]

I think I started all this off wrong by spelling terracotta wrongly 

[Vulture]

I think I started all this off wrong by spelling terracotta wrongly 

Where's Mince when you need him?

[The Peepmaster]

I think I started all this off wrong by spelling terracotta wrongly 

Where's Mince when you need him?

Didn't Peter lock him out the house?

[Vulture]

I think I started all this off wrong by spelling terracotta wrongly 

Where's Mince when you need him?

Didn't Peter lock him out the house?

So that's why it's so quiet! Does this mean we can mis-spell with impunity?

[The Peepmaster]

Yep! Im gonna miss-spel wiv loadsa impewnity!

[peter]

Yep! Im gonna miss-spel wiv loadsa impewnity!

Can you not think up your own way to annoy Mince.
I know its flattering to be copied but would  have thought you better than that.

[peter]

I think I started all this off wrong by spelling terracotta wrongly 

I did not want to bring up the spelling mistake.
You have me worried only today the men repairing my roof asking me if I want some terracotta tiles to finish it off. Odd will I have a soldier on top of my roof.

[The Peepmaster]

I think I started all this off wrong by spelling terracotta wrongly 

I did not want to bring up the spelling mistake.
You have me worried only today the men repairing my roof asking me if I want some terracotta tiles to finish it off. Odd will I have a soldier on top of my roof.

Soldiers especially like a night on the tiles.