Return of the Christmas competition.

[Mince]

You're a bard? Have you managed to get your delusions to rhyme yet?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Well, shouldn't he be disqualified just on the off-chance?

Is there anything quite so sad as a man, so bereft of confidence and belief in his own talent, that he has to desperately seek victory through the disqualification of all other competitors?

Rhetorical question.

[Mince]

Is there anything quite so sad as a man, so bereft of confidence and belief in his own talent, that he has to desperately seek victory through the disqualification of all other competitors?

Now usually I would agree with you, but this is Roger who's refereeing with his usual Helen-Keller eye for excellence, and all the entrants except me are fellow Scots, so I say any tactic is acceptable.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Including insulting the referee. Oh, how I bow to your ingenuity!

[Mince]

Including insulting the referee. Oh, how I bow to your ingenuity!

If you're referring to my implying that he is blind and biased, it's okay: he's too stupid to realise.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

You're a bard? Have you managed to get your delusions to rhyme yet?

You're having a pop at my rhyming prowess?
Yet your own sad submissions are nought but a mess.
Not only can I manage to rhyme my delusions,
I may even head south to hand out contusions.

 

[Mince]

Bravo! 

Roger, can we also have a "Completely Fail to Win the Christmas Competition" competition, because this entry deserves to win by a mile.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I accept my prize, Roger.

Roger?

ROGER

[Egg]

There once was a young man called Horace
Who had a fling with a girl called Lovelace
When she said is that it
He bit her left T**
He now works down't pit at the Coal Face

[Mince]

I see you did extensive research on the Horace strip, Egg.

[Egg]

It's from the Yorkshire version!

Oh and it took all of 30 seconds during a really boring conference call.

I see multiple entries are permitted, so.........

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

You've also used a limerick format, which is obviously copyrighted to me, since I used it first (under Mincey Law from the other day). Just as well you didn't rhyme anything, or the legal people may have to be called in...

[Mince]

Telling people things are copyrighted is copyrighted to me, so watch it!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Pardon me for breathing. No doubt you've copyrighted that too, and we should all stop. Should give you a marginally better chance of winning the competition then, although it will be close between you and the lichen.

[Mince]

This is dragging on. When am I going to be declared winner?